


Creep

by Caroaimezoe



Series: Duets [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: BDSM, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Master/Slave, Running Away, Turtlecest, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-02 21:30:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13326738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Leo should be happy. His relationship with Karai is progressing. But you can't win something without losing something else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alessa_DC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alessa_DC/gifts).



> Gift for AlessandraDC (SecretSanta)
> 
> Must be Leo's part in a series, which each work is inspired by a song.  
> The one for Leo is "Creep", by Radio Head.
> 
> Not Beta, image chapter 1 by AlessandraDC and chapter 3 by how_do_you_do_fellow_kid

 

 

Revisiting by: MicaTurtle 

Leo was there, waiting at the exact time. His heart was still beating with fear that he would be discovered leaving the lair. When he snuck out at midnight, on the tips of his toes, watching for the slightest sound, he was no longer "Fearless" at all.

He was no longer a leader, either. Leaving behind his all his family and his clan. It was just for a night; he told himself each time. A night, twice a week.

But when the worst was over, his heart could beat with excitement. He was going to see her, and this time it wasn't about strategies or her needing help.

She had suggested just hanging out together, and it looked like ... _a date._

He, Hamato Leonardo, an almost 18-year-old mutant, was going to have a date! And with the most fearless kunoichi ever.

It was something that made him so happy that he would love to have yelled it from the top of the Empire State Building. Unfortunately, he couldn't. He couldn't even boast about it to Raph either.

Because she was the forbidden fruit, and all of his family would be either mad or disappointed with him.

But why, as she had pointed out, couldn't he take something for just him once in his life? So, he did it. Meeting her, when all of his family members were sleeping, twice a week.

All the rest of his time was dedicated to his Master and brothers. Leo was an excellent son and good brother. A kind and helpful friend to April and Casey. He tried to do good things all the time, acting like a real hero.

Each time he risked his life and told her afterward, she smiled, her amber eyes mocking him:

_"Such a good boy..."_

But he didn't feel it was a good "good" coming from Karai.

Leo was a hero to his Master, his brothers, and his friends. He would be considered a hero by all the city of New York's citizens if they knew about him. Even his enemies seemed to find that Leonardo was bad-ass and worthy to be feared.

Even Karai's supposed father, The Shredder, considered Leo his most dangerous enemy.

But for her, he was just a kind-hearted moron.

And here he was, waiting for Karai. Even if the last time he had sworn never to come back to her. He was tired of hiding his T-Phone, looking at it non-stop and then quickly erasing the proof. Moreover, the morning following their rendezvous, he had to wake as early as usual, as not to raise suspicion, even if he had only slept three hours.

But tonight, it was supposed to be different. So maybe he was a moron, but he was there because he wanted so badly to believe her.

"Not even going to greet me or anything?" Karai sneered and he startled, turning to face her.

She seemed to believe he was ignoring her on purpose, not that he, the great ninja, had been snuck up on. So he tried to play it off like a cool guy. "Sorry, I was in deep in thought about our next mission."

"Our? Do you mean you and me as 'us'?"

Leo flushed. He wasn't sure was the best answer to that. He was afraid Karai would be outraged he dared talk about "us" as an item. So, he awkwardly explained it was about his brothers.

"Oh." was her only reply. Leo didn't need to focus on her aura to see that Karai was pissed off. However, he knew enough not to say that to her. And asking her about it would just make her deny it and anger her further. Women were so complicated! Even the most high level, complicated kata was more natural than talking to Karai. When Leo stood with his sword in his hand, he could deal with whatever could happen. But, Karai was far more unpredictable than a Kraangs attack.

Leo considered it more prudent to change the subject.

"So, what about tonight? You had an idea in your mind?" he questioned, in a voice that he hoped would sound smooth.

"And you, did you have an idea in your mind?" she mocked and Leo turned his head away so that she wouldn’t see the flush of his cheeks. The truth was that yes, despite his efforts to not think about it, Leo couldn’t dismiss an idea: making love.

He knew it was impossible and therefore pointless, but it all had started a few months after his first meeting with the kunoichi. It was spring, and Leo was tossing and turning in his bed uneasily. After a few nights, he had noticed that his three brothers were showing the same weary and uncomfortable demeanor. Master Splinter had noticed as well and asked Donatello to give them the TALK about birds and bees. Of course, Donnie did what he could. He couldn't look into any previous studies, textbooks, or websites to talk about the mating seasons of mutant turtles. But after two years, Donnie had studied the phenomenon enough to know that they weren't in a real mating season. It was basically 90% just normal male teenage hormones combining with and multiplied by the 10% male turtle mating instincts. So, they were good, kind of. None of them would go all in rampage instinct mode on April or whatever female. It was just double hard to control themselves for these few weeks. Leo could manage it. He was strong.

Raph and Mikey were the worst, taking all the hot water for their endless masturbation sessions. It was easier for them because they had no crushes to fancy on. So, focusing on a non-specific girl was easy. They could think of anybody! But Leo was caught between a rock and a hard place, literally! Thinking about Karai seemed disrespectful, and not thinking about her disloyal.

He didn't dare ask Donnie about his issues with that. About how he managed to not go insane not thinking about April. In fact, he didn't talk to anyone about it: his siblings would call him a moron, too.

So, Leo had two formidable ambidextrous wrists but could do nothing with them.

But, here he was, on a hot night of the end of May. Face to face with the girl of his dreams, trying to tame a hard-on. In her tight armor, with her small and fleshy lips like a beautiful ripe plum. Her satiny skin and her short hair ruffled by the wind. She was so gorgeous. April said Karai's makeup was excruciatingly ugly, but Karai wasn’t like April. She was completely a woman, completely kunoichi, and much too different for April to understand her. But it's not like Leo could explain it to their redheaded friend. She would be pissed at him, and he had enough to handle with one volatile girl.

"I don't know? Hide and seek?" he proposed in a relaxed tone. When he and his brothers wanted to have fun, that was something they did. There were a lot of ways to spice up a hide and seek night.

Then, just as he should have expected, she burst into laughter. "Hide and seek? Are you 6? I was thinking more about going to my place and maybe...I don't know... having some sex."

At this, Leo froze like a deer in front of the lights of an eighteen wheeler on the highway. Karai was smiling too much. It must have been a joke. He had to find something funny to reply with. Leo coughed a little, mustering up a firm voice. "Oh yeah? Lead the way then. I'm curious to see where a rebel like you lives."

Yes, it was a perfect answer. Not eager, just curious and as if hadn't heard the sex part. As if it wasn’t important at all. Like sex wasn’t the focus of all his lonely nights for the last two years straight.

Karai didn't seem fooled by his cool guy act but didn't comment on it.

"Follow me," she said and Leo, after a brief thought about that was maybe a trap, followed. Yes, he wanted badly to trust Karai, but he wasn't so stupidly blinded by her as to not bring his swords with him, even for their rendezvous.

They jumped and ran for about 4 miles only, before she dropped down from the rooftops to slide onto a metal balcony, opening the window. "It's here, but let it be understood Leonardo, this place is for your eyes only, and only if I've invited you beforehand." Leo nodded seriously, stepping over the window frame.

It wasn't a trap at all. The apartment really looked like the one of a young punk woman, or whatever the name of Karai's style was, with a lot of Japanese inspiration. The living room was cozy and decorated with Asian horror movie posters. The bookshelf was full, and Leo went first to that rather than the beautiful katanas hanging on the wall. He already knew the girl's passion for blades. It was what they had in common, but knowing what she liked read could tell him a lot about the soul of the kunoichi he admired.

“What kind of music do you like?” she asked, bending over her iPod and the speaker.

Leo felt embarrassed and on the spot. He really only listened to the music Mikey played in the den. His brother was the musical expert in their family. Leo knew neither artists nor songs. It wasn’t like he could go to a concert or ask a DJ. Blushing, Leo admitted his ignorance, saying he was only able to hum some songs.

Of course, she looked disappointed, but she tried again and asked him: “Well, hum something, then. I won’t be in the silence all night”

Suddenly, the only songs he could remember were slow love songs. Karai was going to misunderstand his intentions and believe he hoped to slow dance pressed against her in order to get to having sex quicker. Courting woman was a battle and he must be prepared to go at it slow and steady. If he rushed her it would spoil everything. Of course, that was assuming that he even had a chance with her, something that he doubted.

But she was waiting for something, so he started the first song that came to him. It was the only song that he knew the lyric for sure and he began it lowly:

**You'll never know how much I really love you**

**You'll never know how much I really care**

**Listen do you want to know a secret**

**Do you promise not to tell woh woh woh closer**

**Let me whisper in your ear**

**Say the words you long to hear**

**I'm in love with you oo**

He stopped himself, many rhymes too late, blushing red with embarrassment.

Then, someone he'd never seen before occurred - Karai looked uncomfortable or intimidated. She interrupted him: "You really have a jazz singer voice, Leo. But never mind, I'm not a big fan of The Beatles. I'll put on something else."

She seemed nervous and chose a song randomly then said: "I'm going to go make some popcorn. You can choose a movie meanwhile. Do you want something to drink?"

Leo nodded and asked for a glass of tap water while listening carefully to the lyrics of the songs chosen by Karai. It was a part of Karai's life, an intimate glimpse into her, and Leo wanted to know everything about the kunoichi of his dreams. Music brought souls closer together, he had read it somewhere, and maybe they could discuss it later. He needed to expand his musical culture because it seemed important to her. Having chosen a movie whose poster already adorned the living-room wall, He was therefore satisfied to have made a wise choice. He sat very straight on the sofa, hands on his knees, listening to the words. Then, his heart sank -

**I want you to notice**

**When I'm not around**

**You're so fuckin' special**

**I wish I was special**

**But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.**

**What the hell am I doing here?**

**I don't belong here.**

Was that what Karai thought of him? A creep having nothing to do with her? Don’t belong to her? Was it some kind of message to tell him to leave her alone?

But he remained straight on the couch, without moving, even his hands, holding back his tears with all his might.

Karai came back into the room with a bowl of popcorn and complained loudly about his choice of movie. "I have already seen this one a thousand times."

"Sorry," Leo commented coldly, "This is my first time here."

“Why are you so worked up about all of sudden?” Karai snapped.

“I’m not.” Leonardo denied.

"Well, if it is so important to you, I can watch it again!", she yielded but in a sulky voice.

"Don't go to that trouble; I'm leaving."

At that Karai seemed genuinely confused

"Did we really just argue about a damn movie like an old married couple, and then you just randomly decided to leave?" she asked, incredulous.

Leo, who had already stood up, stopped and thought for a moment. Maybe indeed, Karai chose the song randomly, or only for the melody, which was, he could admit, rather stirring. Maybe there was nothing meant to be insulting to him in the lyrics and he was reading too much into it for no reason.

“Karai..." he began, sitting back down next to her, "it's kind of complicated. You know that I know almost nothing about the trendy things on the surface... and I don’t know you very well either, so...”

"I understand, you're like a virgin, I mean, virgin about _everything_." Her green eyes shone with irony. "but I'm sure there are things you have... studied. You’re such a boy scout, ready for anything, right?" Leo wondered if there was an innuendo here. He guessed that yes since Karai loved teasing him or making him uncomfortable.

“But maybe I’m wrong about your _innocence_ and you've already done all sorts of nasty things with your brothers.”

Leo spat out the water in his mouth and turned sharply towards the kunoichi: "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean. Four male teens together, alone, add in some animal instincts..." Karai's expression became dreamy, then greedy, "Don't be a prude. You know what I'm talking about. I saw your brother looking at you in a horny way.”

"My brother?" Leo repeated incredulously, not having the tiniest idea what Karai was talking about.

"Yes, you know, a guy, green, with three fingers and a shell, does ninjutsu." she mocked as if it was indeed a good joke.

"What I mean is, which one?" he asked, curious despite himself. He knew it was just silly talk, but he wanted to know how far she would push the joke.

"Oh God! You really don't know? Well, I'm not telling you! His eyes are all over you, and I feel so much pity for him!" she sneered.

Leo was shocked and somewhat annoyed. Her taunting was ridiculous. Even if she was sincere, it was probably some made-up scenario in her head about nothing, mistaking he and his brothers' strong brotherly bond. It was undoubtedly not Donnie. Donatello was far too into April and wasn't affectionate at all with his brother. Anyway, why was he even thinking of it seriously? It was slanderous, and he had to put an end to it.

"Karai, you have to read too much yaoi manga."

She rolled her golden eyes. "Whatever," she replied disdainfully, "let's watch this movie."

The name of the movie was “In the Realm of the Senses” and Leo had never seen such an erotic movie. Watching pornographic scenes with his crush seated right next to him was pure torture. Keeping the popcorn bowl on his lap by necessity, he managed to stay still with a neutral face. However, by the end of the movie he just wanted to run away, in order to shorten his suffering. Anyway, it was already past 3 AM and he had to go back before his disappearance was noticed.

Karai didn’t object to his departure, especially at this late hour and asked: "Why don't you kiss me- goodbye?"

Leo wasn’t sure at all about this. Trap? Joke? What was it? He wasn’t sure but he knew that the kunoichi would probably make fun of him no matter which decision he made. However, he decided to be bold for once. To try to seem to have some control over something with her for once. He took her by the waist and approached fearlessly, then raised her chin with his finger to put his lips on hers gently, making a light contact then pulling away quickly.

Karai seemed surprised: "Is this the kind of kiss you give me after such a movie?"

Leo frowned. What did that mean? He had thought he was daring, but had also been trying to stay within limits for a first date. And he had enjoyed the kiss. Or he would have if she hadn’t been so sarcastic about it.

Karai waved her hand dismissively "Whatever, go see your brother. Maybe he could give you some kissing lessons."

Leo flushed with anger. Again, with this stupid thing? He found this accusation degrading. Karai had spoken of animal instinct and this whole stupid fantasy she had about him and his brother, and it made it seem as if she denigrated all the work he was doing to stay in check. Recalling the earlier song, he used the lyrics to bid his goodbye to her - "What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.”

Without waiting for her answer, he stepped over the windowsill and swore again. This was the last time he came to her call.

Leo couldn't sleep. The memory of what had happened earlier, as well as the natural heat he felt because of that damn month of May, prevented him from getting even a few hours of needed rest. When his alarm clock rang, he felt like he had just closed his eyes. It was probably the case.

He couldn't stay in bed, he told himself, and anyway, a cold shower would do him good, looking down with exhausted eyes on his morning wood. He tried not to meet anyone in the hallway and slipped into the bathroom.

The icy water did him good. His erection fell, and it woke him up completely. Shivering, he rubbed himself with his towel and paused for a moment as he wiped the water flowing from his skull. Approaching the mirror, he touched his lips with his finger.

His lips had rested on Karai's. He studied his reflection for a long time, wondering if his sin was apparent. He knew that by 18 years old, kissing a girl wasn't bad in itself. But it became so when the girl in question was from the enemy clan, and his father and Master forbade him from seeing her in particular.

Leonardo had the highest respect for Master Splinter, but he couldn't obey this order in spite of himself. For more than two months, he had seen Karai secretly and for the moment, no one suspected anything. Leo prayed that it would stay that way, because if he guessed correctly, his Master's anger would be terrible. Leo didn't mind physical pain or more chores or whatever punishment his father could choose to give him. What he feared was the disappointment in his Master's eyes, and the looks of disgust and contempt in those of his brothers.

Nobody could understand, even Donnie! Donatello was okay; he could drool about April and look like a fool as his heart's content. April was their faithful and loyal friend. Courting her wasn't a betrayal, just stupidity. But Leo was both: a silly traitor. And being the leader, folly was twice as grave. He shouldn't be leading his brothers in battle and be giving them orders when he couldn't lead his own heart and follow his own Master's command.

Leo was such a failure. Worse, he was an impostor, but nobody is allowed to know. If his sibling knew that they risked their lives for such a hypocritical bastard, he would lose their love and respect forever.

He looked at his reflection again with a critical eye, trying to imagine the adorable face of the kunoichi leaning towards his. Karai's waist was as tiny as a butterfly and her skin was so soft, golden as pale honey, and her lips were so warm. Her whole body was soft and warm, with gentle and inviting curves.

To Leo, his body was even greener than his brothers and his head was so big, completely disproportionate! Even compared to his siblings, his face looked more like a beak, he thought, looking sideways. And what about his shell? It was so broad that Karai, even if she wanted to take him in her arms, wouldn't be able to clasp her hands. To love Leo, you'd have to be sick! And what about having sex with him? Nobody in her right mind would!

As the song had said, I don't belong in her world.

But... Karai had still invited him to her place. She had trusted him enough to do that, and he must be grateful. Karai wasn't the kind of girl to trust a lot of people, so it was precious. She had made popcorn and sat so close to him during the movie that it had been a struggle to resist just flipping her over on the couch and having his way with her. Karai had been the kindest to him last night that she had ever been since they had met. She had seemed to be waiting for something from him and seemed to be disappointed that he wasn't giving it to her. So besides being hideous, he was stupid and clumsy.

So why had she asked a kiss? He didn't get it. Maybe he was over thinking it again.

There was a knock at the door. "Leo? Are you in there dude? You've been in there forever, bro! It isn't just you who has a hard-on to take care of this morning, you know!"

Embarrassed, Leo donned his gear quickly, calling out to his brother "I'm not doing anything of the sort, Michaelangelo. Give me a moment; I'll be right out."

He opened the door to face a grinning Mikey: "Maybe you _should_. You've seemed super stressed out lately! I mean even more than usual and that’s something considering you!"

In a cold tone, Leo replied that he was perfectly fine and went to the kitchen. He now needed a very strong tea, the fatigue already coming back. He had to be more alert quickly since training began in less than two hours and he couldn't afford to look like he was slacking.

The breakfast was french toast soaked with so much maple syrup that he felt nauseous. But yesterday, he hadn't eaten dinner, too nervous anticipating his upcoming meeting with Karai. Thus, he didn't have anything in his stomach except the popcorn he had shared with her. He remembered accidentally brushing his hand against hers as he reached for some. His ugly three-fingered green hand with her pink, petite, star-shaped one... What a dummy he was, to take the risk to see such a beautiful woman who would never love him back.

Guilt and self-loathing made him disdain his breakfast. With less enthusiasm than usual, he went to the Dojo to do some stretching before the official training began. He didn't even notice his brothers were there until he felt Mikey's stare on him. He barked something, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming. Usually, Leo was only business in the Dojo. What a pitiful model he has become.

The training was hellish. He stumbled once during the race laps, and Mikey bumped into him. Raphael gave Leo a surprised expression. Stumbling wasn't something that happened to him. It was more Michaelangelo's way. Mikey was naturally gifted, even more than Leonardo, but such a goofy... But still, a loyal and honest goofy, and so, a better being than Leonardo.

"Leonardo, my son? I talked to you!"

Shit! Splinter was talking to him. Leo startled, hastening to answer; "I'm sorry, Sensei."

The rat sighed. "You will spar with Michaelangelo."

Leonardo didn't reply, but he was very rarely matched with his youngest brother. Splinter must have been sensing his inner weakness.

"Hajime"

As his brother circled him, showing off his swirling nunchucks, Leo began to think again. Karai seemed nervous too. In Leo's choice of song, his subconscious had wanted to declare his love to kunoichi. Maybe Karai had too? The chukun-bu of the nunchucks colliding with his face, bursting his lip drew him cruelly from his thoughts.

"Oh, shell! I'm so sorry, Leo!" Mikey exclaimed, "I was sure you would see that coming!"

Leonardo touched his lip. It was bleeding. It was kind of ironic that the part of him which had sinned was the part that was punished. Anyway, the pain didn't bother him. It was more embarrassment about what kind of pitiful fighter he was, not able to dodge a simple strike.

Meanwhile, Mikey continued his litany of excuses "But you're kind of daydreaming lately. In fact, you've been kinda spacey for the last two months, dude! You're not yourself..."

Leo stopped wiping his lip, his blue eyes widening. His little brother was intuitive about other's feelings, and if he continued rambling about Leo's weird behavior, he might figure something out, and then Leo would be caught.

With his authoritative voice, he interrupted the youngest "Don't be silly, Mikey! I have been hit. That could happen, and that means you're improving. So, I'm proud of you."

Mikey narrowed his eyes and hissed: "Please, don't tell me you think I'm enough a dumb enough to believe this kind of bullsh..."

"Michaelangelo, leave your brother alone and watch your mouth!"

Mikey muttered something and Donnie, calmly, raised his hand "As the doctor of this family, I suggest that we slack on the training a bit. We won't be patrolling that much the next two weeks, and Leo seems exhausted."

"I'm not! I'm not weak! I'm perfectly fine!" Leo snapped so fiercely that Raph grinned.

"Anger is my department, bro. Didn't know you had such a short temper in ya, Fearless!"

"This isn't the Leo we know. Something is off..." Mikey protested, but not so loud, not wanting to bring back Leo's fury toward him.

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not here! Sensei, please. Let's continue. I will pay more attention, I promise." Leo insisted with a huge grin.

Master Splinter looked deep in thought and then, his decision fell: "Perhaps your brother Donatello is right. We will take a day off. Go rest, my son, and put some ice on your lip."

Leo's eye twitched and his faked encouraging grin twisted. He couldn't be mad at his father and argue about this. It wasn't a wound worthy of skipping training! Even if Leo was the leader, he couldn't overrule Splinter. So, despite his sore mood, he bowed to his Master and left the dojo.

He went straight to the bathroom to look at his mouth. His lip was definitively split and deserved even less of Karai's sweet kisses.

"Leo, I'm really sorry... I know these spring things suck..."

As if he had been burned, Leo spun to bark at his brother, "That has nothing to do with it! I didn't have any issues with whatever month we are..." Seeing Mikey looking at him with such pain in his eyes from being yelled at, when he just come to say he was sorry, Leo calmed down, "Mikey, I assure you. The "spring thing" has nothing to do with it..."

"So, you admit it? There IS something bothering you! Nobody could fool the Nexus Champion!" Mikey declared proudly, his hand on his waist in a superman pose.

Leo sighed, Mikey's insistence could be heavy at times.

"I only need a cold shower, I assure you."

Raphael shouted that if they wanted to talk, then they should do it outside because he had a "hot date". Leo rolled his eyes at the transparent code name.

"You're such a perv.” Donatello declared.

"Hey, I don’t judge you! You fancy a girl. Don’t judge me for not having anyone that I'm interested in. Having no expectations gives no deception, for either side. My hand doesn’t argue with me, doesn't ask for gifts or romantic outings. It is a peaceful relationship. The best I could have." Raphael laughed and Leo envies him. Raphael had never entertained any illusions about a possible love affair. He loved his family and gave himself pleasure. He was fulfilled. Maybe Raph was the wisest.

After the shower, he didn’t feel any better. His head was pounding with so many questions, that he felt on the verge of screaming with frustration. He wanted to love her and be loved. He knows it won’t happen, it's not possible. But still... she let him kiss her.

He noticed that he had been watched from afar for a while. He noticed Donatello looking worried about Leo pacing and growling like a locked-up tiger. "Leo, I need to see you in the lab. I have some questions to ask you and also the usual blood test. "

"I'm fine, Donnie, it's useless!" Leo argued.

Donatello held his hands up in a no harm gesture "I didn’t say you’re not. As you know, we are the first mutant turtles on the earth, and I need to take notes about our health. You know, just in case, one day, maybe we would have descendants."

Leo stopped in his tracks. In a flash, he imagined Karai, her toned belly, swollen with his little ones. He shook his head. Karai would never want it, and any children of theirs would surely be monsters!

“It’s for the sake of your family, Leo. I need some comparison and Raph refuses, he says he doesn't want to _'play guinea pig.'_ ” Donnie mocked, mimicking Raph's voice. “I did it to myself, and even Mikey has acquiesced and let me take some samples. And you know how much he is afraid of a needle.”

Leo smiled, amused. “What did you give to him to convince him? I doubt Mikey had such innate respect for science to _'sacrifice himself for the knowledge of the turtle kind'_.” Leo mocked too, with Mikey grandiloquent whine. “Chocolate? Cookies?” Leonardo guessed, walking toward the lab with a more relaxed posture.

“No, and it was kind of funny because he only asked me to swap chores with him! So, I do the dishes, and he does the laundry. It’s a win-win situation for me. Mikey isn’t always the most thorough when it comes to washing plates and glasses, and I don't want to drink from one of Raph’s glasses without it being fully sanitized. You know, the glass he holds with his... _date_.”

Leo burst out laughing. Donatello was rarely in a funny mood, and right now it was what he needed. In a good mood, he settled down, stretching out his arm so that Donnie could take his blood.

Donnie continued to chatter sweetly. "It's nothing complicated, Leo. I just need to check if we have hormonal changes and I'm going to ask you some questions. I need to check if what we are experiencing is common to all of us or if it varies according to the individual."

Donnie asked a few routine questions, and he realized that from the beginning Donnie was doing this earn his confidence when he asked him point-blank "How many times do you masturbate compared to any other time of the year? "

Leo blushed hotly, despite Donnie's friendly look. But if Don cared enough to actually ask, maybe he was having the same issue regarding April, and maybe he could share his problem. So, he confessed."I don’t do it anymore."

He realized quickly that Donatello didn’t have the same reservations he had when he saw him fetching his pen, shocked.

"What do you mean? Absolutely zero? "

"Yes. You mean you still do?"

Donnie seemed so stunned that Leo felt super self-conscious. If he could pull into his shell and hide, he certainly would at this time.

“Since when?" Don asked, ignoring Leo's question "I mean when was the last time you gave yourself some pleasure?”

Leo looked down. Why must he feel ashamed of being chaste? All great heroes were.

Donnie must have felt his embarrassment because he took the hand of the leader and squeezed it. “Hey, Leo? Look at me - There is nothing to be mortified about. I didn’t mean humiliate or embarrass you. I was just surprised. However, that does explain a lot of your recent behavior.” Donatello clarified softly.

Leo looked up, eyes shining with suspicion. “What do you mean? My behavior hasn't changed. I'm normal.”

The scientist gently smiled. “Of course, you are, Leo, but you've seemed to grow darker than before in the last months. Giving yourself a little... stimulation could help. And it's totally healthy to do so.”

Leo looked straight into the eyes of the genius, deciding to lay as much of his problem out on the table as possible. “How can you manage it? I mean you don’t find it disrespectful to have fantasies about April while you stroke yourself?”

It was Donatello's turn to look uncomfortable: "Wow, that's a direct question. Haha, um ... Well, I can’t imagine doing nasty stuff to April, like anything degrading or humiliating. And she doesn’t even know I think about her while I do it, so I don’t think it could really bother her. Also, I don’t always think about her! Fantasies don’t always need to be identified. You can think of a stranger, you know."

“You don’t feel unfaithful to the one you love when you fantasize about another?” Leonardo asked in genuine surprise.

Donnie blushed like he did every time they talk about him loving their friend, but then, he gazed at Leo, and the leader realized that he had said too much. Donnie was too clever to be fooled. He had to get out of the lab, quickly.

“Why would you ask me such questions? Do you feel that way about someone? Is that the reason you remain chaste even with yourself?” Donatello asked, eager to know, his curiosity awoken.

“Don’t be silly. It was just a question. And I advise you, Donatello, to complete your questions if you aren’t finished yet because I have duties to attend to.” Leonardo spoke with his leader's voice. Donatello never sassed at this tone.

“Well, if you say you’re okay... But it’s the opposite of how Mikey and I feel.”

The big brother in Leo was concerned. Did that mean his sibling wasn’t okay?

“What do you mean, Donnie?”

“Nothing important enough to keep you from your duties” Donatello replied in a neutral tone. “Mikey and I just feel our urges seem more urgent and stronger this year, and if you look at the number of shower Raphael takes, well...”

“Oh? Is it a problem? I mean is something bad happening to us?” Leo questioned, worried.

Donatello didn’t comment about the “us” that had slipped from Leo’s tongue. “No. I think it’s normal. But I think that fixating on only one person is not healthy because if you can't or don't have him or her, you'll feel very alone and isolated. It's the reason why I don’t think only about April now. We have already a limited choice, why limit ourselves further in our minds? I suggested the same thing to Mikey. He is kind of sad too,if you hadn't noticed.”

Leonardo frowned. To him, it seemed quite the contrary, Mikey bugged him endlessly.

“No. But Mikey doesn’t fancy someone like we, I mean, like _you_ do.”

Donnie grinned. He so loved when the leader was wrong! “It seems that you’re wrong Leo, because Mikey talked to me about his big crush.”

Leo forgot even Karai at the moment, too flabbergasted about what had happened to his little brother, while his mind was busy elsewhere. So, Mikey was maybe in love and sad because she didn’t love him back, like him with Karai. He must talk to the youngest to warn him to not take the same path as him; a very painful and unsettling one.

“But where did he meet her? I mean Mikey never sneaks out the lair, right?” Leo didn’t add 'because I would know it' but was thinking it.

“I don’t know, Leo. The most interesting thing I learned about was when I asked him what he was thinking about, and he said: _'his fine ass'_.”

“His?” Leo asked, his eyes wide. His little brother was gay? Leo was stunned, but he regained his composure quickly seeing a nodding Donnie. Donatello accepted it, so it was fine. “But I mean, the question is still the same: where did he meet him?”

A thought came to Leo. “Do you think it's Casey? Does Casey have what you would call a 'fine ass'?”

Donnie grimaced. “Ew. Just ew. Please, I don’t want to think about that. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. His love or sex life is his, just as your monk life is yours.”

Donnie made a gesture to ask him to leave, having Leo’s blood sample and having finished his interrogation. The leader left the lab deep in thought. He walked towards Mikey’s bedroom. If Mikey was showing himself to a stranger, it would be hazardous for all of them. He had to lecture him about being more careful.

He knocked at the door of the youngest and waited politely until Mikey yelled: "Come in."

Mikey was listening to music, laying on his bed. "What’s up, bro?" he asked nonchalantly.

Leonardo reflected on how Donatello had proceeded to extract the truth; chatting gently, asking precise questions, slowly working his way up to it...

"Oh, I wanted you to add a song to my T-pod."

Mikey sat up, smiling. "Really? which one?"

Leonardo didn’t remember the title of the song, but the chorus, he remembered that indeed. It had wounded him like a hot iron. Studying this song would be a wise move. Leo was always serious and dedicated to his studies. Karai loved this song, or she wanted to pass him a message last night... Either way, he must listen to it and focus on the melody and the lyrics. This would help him get to know her better and maybe understand her intentions too.

He hummed the song and sang the few lines of lyrics that he remembered. Mikey listened to him quietly.

“I know from the first few words which song you were talking about, dude. But you have a such a beautiful crooner voice, Leo. I wanted to enjoy it until the end. Even if I'd rather you were singing a more cheerful tune.” he smiled. “Give me your T-phone; I'll add it. You can stay here in the meantime. Maybe we could discover some other songs you'd like.” Mikey suggested eagerly.

Karai's song came out of the speakers, filling the room and Mikey turned toward Leo, smiling in success. But Leonardo didn’t see him, he was too busy obsessing over and analyzing the lyrics.

I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

Those lyrics were speaking to him. Their meaning becoming clear. Earlier, in the dojo, Leo had been hit because he was too slow, too weak. He couldn’t stay there, listening to music! He had to train to be worthy of Karai. Anyway, he knew the song's lyrics now, through and through. The message was that Karai was special and he wasn’t.

“Leo, bro, do you want to listen to another song?” Mikey asked softly, resting his hand over Leo's lightly.

Leo shook his head, getting up hurriedly, "Later, Mikey. I need to practice. See you at dinner. "

“Don't you mean lunch?" Mikey asked, surprised and slightly disappointed. “It's only eleven o'clock."

Without turning around, Leo said, "I have to train a lot."

\---Later that evening---

Leo was on the couch, watching some random action movie with all his family and friends when he felt the vibration of his T-Phone. He paled, despite his expression remaining unchanged. It was a talent that he had mastered: keeping a neutral face even when the situation was unexpected and had turned very dire.

Like now.

Because he was in the living room with all the people who had his number. At least, _officially_. Guessing who the caller was, was easy. The only person who wasn't there:

Karai.

What was really unexpected was the fact that it was Monday. Karai and he had agreed to only meet on Sundays and Wednesdays, their days off from patrol. So, the fact that she was calling him on a Monday was unsettling.

He couldn't pretend to have not heard or felt it. Mikey had definitely felt it, he could tell by the surprised look on his brother's face.

Leo stood up very slowly, quickly inventing a cover. "Oh! I forgot. I had set an alarm for my training... I must go..."

Mikey, who had been sitting next to him, raised an eye ridge, "Are you serious? You've been training all day!" he whined.

"Michaelangelo, there are things more important than television! Maybe you should train more too." Leo replied, sternly. He knew Mikey hated extra training. Surely this would make him drop the case now.

Mikey's face seemed suspicious and then, he grinned, "You know what, bro? You're right. I'm going to train with you!" he said eagerly, jumping up from the couch.

The leader bit his lip, embarrassed and chagrined, not having seen this coming. His youngest brother never wanted to train, even less so on a movie night.

The T-Phone vibrated one more time and he slowly pulled it out of his belt as if he wanted to turn the alarm off. He took a look at the screen with the most natural look he could manage and then, he flushed, **"I miss you. Maybe we could kiss more, tonight, my place. Midnight."**

The shock to read words like "kiss" and "miss you" from Karai made Leo stammer.

"Actually, maybe I should sleep instead. We'll train together tomorrow, Mikey"

Mikey muttered something about Leo's many "laters", but Leo, after a weak "good night" to everyone, went directly to bed, his mind in turmoil, picturing a deeper kiss. Too embroiled in his own emotional chaos to notice the heavy look following him.


	2. Chapter 2

 

He had been punctual. Sneaking out of the lair had seemed to him more difficult than ever, his excitation spoiling his focus. Waiting until midnight had been hard. His excitement was so high that he didn’t even sleep despite his exhaustion. Each minute had felt like a decade.

But he had succeeded and had knocked at her window at midnight.

The idea that it was maybe a trap was still his hind mind, but that’s wasn’t sufficient to prevent him from coming.  He told himself that he didn’t want to appear to be fearful or mistrusting to her.

 

But the truth was that he wanted a deep kiss.

And there, he had received his reward for his trust.

There were the two of them on the couch, and she was kissing him. She told him to keep his hands on his knee, and he followed the rules, despite his need to do more...

There was some music in the living room, but he didn’t listen to it, his mind too busy to feel.

Her lips were so good. Leo wasn’t sure if it was her lipstick, or it was natural, but she tasted as sweet as cherries.

“Don’t you prefer it like that?” she asked, her voice honeyed

“Yeah.” He couldn’t make a longer reply. He didn’t even recognize his voice, so huskily. His throat could only make groan and moans, from now.

“You have seen nothing yet.”

She pressed her lips again against his, with more passion and let slip her tongue into his mouth and Leo’s mind became blank.

“I just hope you’re a fast learner,” she said, in her teasing tone, detaching her lips.

Leo blinked.

“Yeah.”

He couldn’t think of something else.

“It’s kind of weird to kiss you. I mean, you didn’t have reals lips. And your skin is coldest than anyone I kissed before.”

That’s hurt him. Karai had kissed before, and she seems to have more pleasure with those other guys. But what he could says? He was indeed true. His skin wasn’t soft and warm and appalling. He should be grateful for having to be kissed by such a beautiful girl. Now, he won’t die an absolute virgin.

“Where is your cock? I mean you’ve one, right?”

The rudeness of the question leaves him speechless. Of course, he had one. He tried so hard for one hour to keep it from too hardening.

“Answers” she commanded and then she trailed her tongue into his neck.

“Yeah…” he shakes off himself from his blissful state. “It’s hidden. There a slit in my lower plastron, between the plate,” he replied, still quivering with the need to be kissed again.

“Show me.”

There wasn’t room for arguing. Leo did what he has been told, releasing his swollen member out.

Karai’s eyes become wide of surprise.

“It’s huge!” she exclaimed.

Leonardo took a look at himself. Did it was a good or a bad thing? He didn’t know. He never saw penises other than his brother’s. He wasn’t even the biggest of the family. So, he wasn’t sure how to take Karai wonderment

But then he saw a greedy shine in her amber eyes.

“I want to see you pleasuring yourself.”

Leo remained still. It was indeed a bad joke. Karai would slap him or sneer in disgust if he dared following her order.

“Don’t make me repeat myself. If you don’t want to be with me, you can fuck with your brother.”

Leo frowned. Again with this? She was delusional or wanted to go under his skin.

He decided to play it cool, at least the coolest he could be when he was with his dick exposed like this in front of his crush.

“Well, maybe it will be too much for you to handle.” he declared boldly.

Karai raised a skeptical eye ridge.

"Please, I’m sure I can handle a virgin. And, if you do as you've been told, I may reward you.”

He hesitated a full ten second again and obeyed. Anyway, it didn't have the choice. It was either doing as she wants or tossed all the following night with regret in his bed, alone.

He took his member and began languid strokes, eyes closed. He didn't want to cum too soon and made an even more fool of him. He didn't do this since ages and how he managed to keep his hands off from himself was beyond him, now. It was so good...

"Open your eyes. I want you to see me watching you," she commanded from the floor where she was sitting.

He obeyed again, and she licked his tight.

" Such a good boy. You're my obedient, good boy, don't you?"

Leo couldn't do anything except to nod. Yes, he was.

" I wonder what it looks like…” she said, licking her lips.” But, you can’t cum until I give the order. You boss your brother around, but here, you have nothing to said. You’re not a leader there, anymore. Just my boy.”

The pace of his wrist was going faster. She said it: He was her's and he rather preferred being her "boy" than to be alone. Even if he was in a submissive position, it was better than he worth. And he didn’t mind the switch of power. Not being in charge for once, would be refreshing.

Karai undressed, still staring at him. Leo's mind reeled. He had never seen a nude human in person before, except on photo in these disgusting magazines that Raph has been hiding under his mattress. He'd never thought he'd be this close to an actual naked girl, even less Karai, daydreamed of it of course but never expected it would actually happen. He swallowed audibly.

Karai maintained constant eye contact, smiling. Slowly she lifted his hand and drew it to her, placing one of his calloused palm over her breast, while the other was still busy to jerk off.

Leonardo gasped sharply.  She was so soft, even more there where the skin had a texture, he never felt before. He had read about silk in the book about Ancient Japan of his father, often wondering about the feeling of the luxurious material, never having the opportunity to touch it. Now, Leo decided that Karai's skin must feel as precious silk. Something to rare and valuable to a guy like him could stroke it. He splayed his fingers pressing into the flesh, despite it. He had never sensed anything so delicate in his life. He ran the pad of his thumb across her nipple. At this she tilted her head back, eyelids half-closed, obviously appreciating the gestures. He was fascinated by the softness of her skin, the absolute foreignness of her firm and tight body.

Leonardo was so caught up in examining the contrasts between his coriaceous green skin and her silky pinkness that he startled when she commanded:

“Now”!

He was holding back since so long he felt as yelling, how much it was liberating.

“Good,” she said. “I will give you what nobody would, physical pleasure, but here the rules: if you want to feel good, you obey. You never touch me, except if you're allowed to doing so. Understood?”

He nodded, now sleepy. His climax had broken any will he could have.

“You can go home, now. It's almost two. You look like shit and sleep would do you some good. I will call you when I am feeling so.”

Leo nodded again. He would have liked to be allowed to wash but Karai didn’t offer it to him, and he was now so tired. Sleeping would be good, as Karai had said. He will wash at the lair.

Outside, the air seemed less rare, heavy and toxic and he finally snaps out of it to think about what had just happened. He didn’t have sex, but it was close, and he had been kissed and I had been allowed to touch. Never, in his most optimistic fantasies, he had dreamed of such thing.

Donatello, he was sure of it, had never received the same from April, despite behind his loyal servant.

He stopped running; the realization strikes him: he has caressed Karai’s boob, and French kissed her and she…

“Where do you come from?”

Leo’s head turned in a sharp move toward the voice from the shadow. He didn’t even recognize it at first, because the tone was so cold and inquisitive but then, Michelangelo emerged from the shadow, swirling his nunchucks.

The leader and big brother kicked in:

“What do you do alone at this time outside from the lair? You should be sleeping at home!" he scolded.

“So, you do!” Mikey hissed. “Where do you come from?” he asked again, each syllable harshly separated from the other.” I see you sneaked from the lair. I had followed you but lost you at the moment. I know it’s not the first time. Tell me. Where you come from?”

The leader in Leonardo arises, irate to be questioned. He had been just a loyal puppy for Karai, but now he was done with this. He wasn't Mikey's little obedient boy. It was the other way around.

“You don’t have the authority to question me. I’m the leader. I’m allowed to do what I please. I’m cautious enough to take care of myself.”

Michelangelo remained silent.

“You’re right. I’m not allowed to question you…”

During a brief moment. Leonardo was relieved. Mikey would drop the case, but then, the teal eyes shine with audacity.

“But Master Splinter is.”

Leo was flabbergasted. His youngest brother was threatening to report him. Anger took him: how many time, by brotherly love and weakness, Leonardo hadn't said Mikey silly prank to their master?

“You won’t dare…” he growled.

Mikey walked toward him, his nunchucks still swirling.

“Maybe not, if you talk to me. You’re not yourself, and we’re worried. I’m worried.” he kept insisting. 

When Mikey was enough to close, he sniffed the leader, and the shock widened his teal eyes.

“You’d sex” he shouted, in so an upset tone that Leo felt self-conscious. He must find a lie and fast. “With who?”

“No. I haven’t." Leo denied, but with a apparent calm." I talked with Donnie about something…and find a way to resolve issues. Intimate issues” He explained firmly. Anyway, it was kind of true.

Mikey stayed silent and muttered:

“Do you tell me the truth? Because, you know…If I can’t trust you, nothing had sense, anymore. You’re supposed to be a model to me, remember?”

Leo nodded but don’t dare to speak. He was too ashamed for this. How a pitiful model he was. Sneaking outside to have dom/sub foreplay with her supposed nemesis and then, lie about it to his little brother.

But, despite his guilt, he was enough a bastard to take his brother in his arms. Mikey, by impulsiveness, could wreck everything. And then, he would never again have a taste of sweet cherry from Karai’s lips.

“I will never lie to you, Mikey. You’re my precious little brother.”

Before Mikey could say anything, Leo was quick to continue;

“Donnie told me…you’ve fancy someone.”

Mikey sudden flushed cheek, make Leo smile. Mikey was so adorable.

“Please. Don’t give too of yourself in this. Donnie made a fool of himself with April and…I don’t want someone abuse your kindness.” Leo explained with seriousness. “If someone broke your hearth I would break his legs, and this kind of behavior is prohibited by the bushido, “he concluded with a smile, joking.

Mikey didn’t answer while Leo was dragging him toward the lair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secret Santa for you Alessandra!  
> Picture by H0w_d0_y0u_d0_fell0w_kids

 

 

 

Leo knew very well that his fake attitude was showing more and more crack.  And knowing that Michelangelo was now suspecting him a lot doesn't help to appear calm and serene. The day following his return from Karai's, the Tuesday, Mikey had sulked him. But the youngest can't keep a sore mood too long, and the Wednesday after the dinner, when Leo had come offering to play with him at Mario Kart, in the living room, Mikey's face had split with a big toothy smile

" Sure bro!"

Leo had felt guilt. Mikey was so pleased to have some attention of his big brother, and he couldn't imagine that Leo was only trying to coax him.

Because they we're Wednesday and Karai would text him for their rendezvous and Leo doesn't want him shadowing him again. If he was sweet to him, maybe Mikey won't suspect him anymore.

They had a great brotherly moment. Leo had let Mikey wins twice, and the blue, bright eyes of his brother were shining with genuine pleasure. But when Leo had offered to prepared him an ice cream bowl, Mikey had frowned.

" But I already had dessert. Usually, you don't want I eat twice dessert during the weekdays. It's your rules."

Leo saw in Mikey's answer an awakening suspicion and tell the first things coming to his mind:

" Well, I saw you earlier, during your sparring match with Raphael. You gave him a hard time. You 'd gain some muscles lately, and you had taken your training more seriously. So, you could have a treat." Leo declared with eagerness. It was indeed true. Mikey had made some progress; he should praise him for that.

Mikey had flushed:

" Oh, you noticed that? I mean, my muscle?"

Leo had shrugged, squeezing his brother deltoid.:

" Of course, it's my job. So, do you want your treat?"

The youngest' mood had darkened suddenly.

" No, thank you."

Leo had left the living room, slightly worried. Refusing ice cream wasn't Mikey at all, but maybe his little brother was on a health kick. Leo would not complain about it: He had kind of hoped this day to come since a decade. Maybe it' was his crush who make him mature. Then, he had realized not asking about it to Michelangelo. Perhaps now, that he seemed in a bad mood, it would be preferable to wait before questioning him and lecturing him.

Anyway, Leo was too excited to think about that. It was almost 9:00 pm and Karai would text him very soon. He had daydreamed about her non-stop since their last encounter, not daring hoping too much about the next time where he would see her.

Maybe she would kiss him again and put his hand on her naked chest. He looked at his green three-fingered hand. How could a so ugly piece of trash stroke her silky pink flesh?

But they have some time in front of him, right? Maybe he could try to improve something about his appearance apart to brush his teeth. A good bath would help with some perfumed oil. He would smell good, at least. He was in the tub, brushing his shell when he realized that maybe he must check the edges of his carapace to see if the scutes are ready to come off. And perhaps a trim and maybe a polish so it doesn't look ragged would be nice too. Karai was always so pretty, with her stylized hair and her make-up. She takes care of herself, and it was apparent. He couldn’t afford to look sloppy in front of her.

But to take care of his shell, he must ask one of his brothers.

Each a month, they polished their shell, and Leo an already did it three weeks before, but maybe it wasn't enough and needed some wax on his carapace. He couldn't see it, and his brother doesn't care what Leo's shell looks likes, so maybe it was dull, and nobody had told him. 

Donnie was undoubtedly in his lab, and couldn't hear him, and Mikey was out of the question. The youngest was already too suspicious.  So, he had yelled;

"Raph"

The Hot head had yelled in turn:

" What do ya want, Fearless? I'm watching the match."

"Need help scrubbing my carapace."

"Damn it! I'm kind of busy here. These fuckers are about to lose! Ask Mikey or wait tomorrow, would ya?"

Leo had stayed silent. Mikey must have indeed heard him, and if he was suspicious about Leo's behavior, he would be twice more now. Never the brothers had to scrub their shell at 9 pm. And if Raph hadn't been so busy, he would have noticed it, too.

Mikey had shown his head in the door, and I offered his help without question, only had to comment about Leo's shell was already glistening, anyway.

He had left the bathroom more confident, and he had wait in his room for Karai's call.

A call who didn't come.

He had passed the night in anguish over thinking why the kunoichi had didn't call him. Did he has been disappointing the last time? But he had only done what she had told him to do.

Around 2 in the morning, he had decided that maybe Karai having seen him the Sunday and Monday, wanted to postpone from a day or two. Anyway, Master Splinter had suspended the patrol until Saturday. So, he would be free if she wanted to see him Thursday or Friday.

She didn't text him either of this day and now, they were Saturday afternoon and he can't help but think about she maybe replace him, already. Beautiful girls have plenty of choices. Why would she bother to be loyal to him? He couldn’t even bring her to the park or restaurant. He didn’t have money to buy her present.

She must have found a more suitable lover for her and this idea was so painful.

His life was a living hell. He felt urges so vivid that he felt the aching in his bone. The stress and the fear of being discovered as he was really and disappointing were killing him, too.

The training lately was awful. He couldn't keep his legendary focus and had been beaten each day. Master Splinter had decreed this was because Leonardo was exhausting himself in exercise all day and then, he had forbidden him more than one hour by day, out of practice.

And now, he couldn't even fill his emptiness by hours of repetitive katas. The next day was filled him with anxiety. If Karai wouldn't text him the Sunday night, it would mean the end of their kind of relationship, and he would never know what enters another body, feel. He would die with only the souvenir of lips on his.

Stiff on the couch, his mind buzzing with worries and fear, next Raph reading a magazine, he started when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

" Leo! Calm down; it's only me! You're jumpy, lately!" Donatello commented, with concern. "I just wanted to talk to you, about the patrol, tonight."

"The patrol, yes," Leo emphasized, dismissing the first part of the sentence. "What about patrol?"

Anything to stuff his head with another image than him, alone in his bed for eternity or Karai in bed with someone else.

" We must postpone it until tomorrow night. "

Donatello didn't have to explain the reason that Leo was on him:

"No! We don't patrol the Sunday. It's the rule." he snarled.

The genius looked at him with wide eyes;

" What are you talking about? There no "rules" as you said! We're not Christian people to be forced to rest on Sunday."

"I'm the leader, and I said not patrol the Sunday!" Leo snapped in such aggressive manner that he knows by himself that it overreaction out of his character would give him away.

Donatello now was interested to know why and it’s was bad.

Donnie's curiosity could extend to the point of insanity if he thinks there may be something concerning about his brothers.

"Tell me, Leo. What is all about? You didn't even wait to hear my explanation. I have excellent reason to suggest you to doing so. Look."

Donnie took the remote to switch the channel, leaving it on the weather on.

" You see, tonight, they expect a rainstorm with low temperature," Donatello explained. " Only 49 degrees and moreover in a rainstorm, even the worst criminals won't show off this night. Did I have to remind you we're cold-blooded? Master Splinter forbade us to patrol now when the temperature is so cold since YOU come from it half-dead."

Leonardo could recognize that Don was right, in his mind but, if they patrol Sunday night, he won't be able to be free for Karai, in the case she calls him.

" First, Master Splinter forbade us to patrol lower than 42 degrees only, and..."

"Why are ya doing a big deal over this? Brainiac said we shouldn't. It's not like ya to argue about health stuff with the scientist." Raph asked, having dropped his magazine and folded his arm to look at him seriously.

Leo turned around to meet the suspicious green gaze. Hopefully, Mikey was busy in the kitchen.

"You don't want to, either? Fine! We don't go!" Leo yelled, so upset, knowing he was losing it in front of his family. Before being interrogated again, he left the living room, shaking with shame and sorrow.

He shouldn't love Karat that much. He shouldn't hope she loves him as well. It's was silly. He should be happy to have shared a private moment with her. It was far most than his brother would never have. But he couldn't. Locking the door of his bedroom, he allowed himself to cry for the first time since Wednesday. There only one thing he could do. His pride had prevented from doing so before, but now, crushed, he didn't have the choice.

He will text Karai.

He had now a good reason for doing it, now. He only wanted to warn her that he won't be free for their rendezvous.

He typed quickly:

**"Dear Karai, because of the weather, I must cancel our meeting for tomorrow night. The patrol is postponed to Sunday, because of the rainstorm of tonight. I'm truly sorry, and I hope you're fine."**

He hesitated one moment. Did he should add " Take care?" he had never texted a girl really before, not about rendezvous and no after having kissed her and jerking off in front of her. His father never told him about etiquette in this case. He knows he couldn't add " I love you", but the message seemed cold. Then, he told himself it was probably better this way: If Karai didn't want him anymore, he won't ashamed himself. He didn't even think about giving the Foot information about the patrolling. He was too in pain to care.

He pressed "send" and with a pounding heart, waited her answer.

It comes and he stopped breathing, reading it with hunger,

**" My little boy. My place tonight, midnight, for lesson 2."**

Excitation flooded him. He had been so anxious never to saw her again!

He replied that he would be there, looking with excitation at the time. It was only 5h30. Waiting more than 6 hours before sneaking out the lair appears to him the sweetest torture ever.  He had just to keep himself busy, and that would pass quickly. Maybe helping Michelangelo preparing the dinner would keep him enough occupied to not look to impatient in front of his family. He must go, the diner would be served in 20 minutes. Mikey was always punctual about meals.

 After having to take a moment to calm down a bit, he bounced out of his room with such a blissful expression that Raph, now in the kitchen, was stunned.

" Okay, Fearless what is all about? Do you suffer some bipolar shit? 10 minutes ago, you were moody as fuck, and now, you're beaming!"

Michelangelo turned around from his oven and Donnie, at the table, looked over the edge of his laptop.

" You find an argument about why Sunday should be a holy day for us? Or do you find a way to convince Sensei to let us patrolling despite the storm?" Donatello asked, dubious.

Leo tried to control his features. He must look detached.

" Oh no! I just realize you were right, Donnie. We will patrol tomorrow. I’m sorry about me having overreacting"

There. Don and Raph would be happy and they would drop it. He had said he was sorry.

But to his consternation, Donnie shook his head.

“Leo, you must talk to us. What happens to you? I mean your kind of cranky these days and you seem lost in your own world. We worry a lot about you. “Donnie pressed in a soft and caring tone.

 “Yeah, I mean ya worst than me and that’s something. If ya were a chick, I would say you PSM or something…Do ya have one of those phases who required to ya to go find some peace of mind in another country?”

Now Leo was riled up. He said he was sorry! What they want more than that? Do they want to make of that a fight?

“I’m not PSM! How you could say that when we bear this bad temper of yours since near two decades?”

“Leo only needs a good sleep, that’s it. He is tired and nervous. As well as we are”

Michelangelo had spoken with a firm voice.

Raph replied something to Mikey about some fanboy attitude but Leo didn’t listen. Mikey knew he had sneaked out of the lair and he could reveal it to everybody now. Donnie won’t let it live down until knowing all the story and would install a new security camera.

“Mikey, did you need help with the dinner?”

The cook shook his head.

“Never you would touch my holy oven. Why don’t you go rest a bit? I would bring you the dinner.”

Leo was grateful for this suggestion. He would be bored to death, alone in his room, but at least, he won’t be questioned. So, he exited the kitchen under the suspicious looks of his brother.

Mikey brings him his dinner on a trail with a big smile.

“Don’t be mad at them, they spoke this way because they care about you. I do too.”

Leo smiled, stirred;

“I know, little bro, and thank to don’t tell…You know about me going out the night”

Mikey’s freckled face become serious:

“I love you pretty much, Leo. You should know that. I won’t betray you except if you’re doing something endangering yourself.”

Leo reached out to take his little brother in a hug. He kissed his cheek in thanks and smiled: "I love you too Mikey and I will never betray you either."

The leader felt his youngest brother shaking in his arms and, worried, he pulled back to look at him:

“Why are you crying?” he asked, in a real concern. Karai was far away from his mind now. Even if he loved her madly, his brothers would always be first in his heart.

Mikey whipped his tear.

“I don’t know. I’m tired. I don’t sleep well either. I admit I wake up every night to see if you’re in your bed since I caught you.”

Leo was amazed but in a bad way. He didn’t even notice Mikey sneaking into his room and he dares call himself a ninja! But the important now was to convince Mikey to never do it again. Especially not this night.

“Well, don’t bother doing so this night, Mikey. You heard Donnie. There a rainstorm expected. It already raining now. So, only people out of their mind would go out” he explained with a serious smile. Leo was indeed out of his mind, to in love to care about some droplet of water.

Mikey appears relieved and left the leader alone.

5 hours to go, now. His brother had asked him to watch a movie with them but Leo had politely declined. His impatience would be too apparent and maybe sleep three hours would do him some good. So, he put his alarm and try to sleep.

Leo shifted beneath the sheets, tossing over in an attempt to find sleep, but with a hard-on and his mind in turmoil making circles, he shouldn’t find peace enough to sleep.

He wondered if he could masturbate on Karai, now? Did they have a thing? She allowed him to do it in front of her. So, why he could not, now?

He looked at the hour and was surprised to see it was already past 10:00 pm. He could take a shower now and brush his teeth. Too bad he couldn’t ask Mikey to wax his shell again without alarming everyone, but at least he would be neat. Anyway, he must go out to tell his brother to go to bed, after. According to all the gun sound, their second movie would be end soon. And he knows that at this time Master Splinter was sleeping.

Knowing that this time he would see her for sure, he took great care of him, rubbing the soap everywhere twice. Borrowing Raph’s cologne would betray him at his first step out the bathroom, so he had no choice to just hope that the smell of soap would be enough for Karai.

Then he remembered April’s moistening cream for the heel of his foot. When she was sheltering in the lair, she has let it here. She has said about it was for a very dry skin. Maybe his leather would softer to touch with that.

He begins to stroke his foot, to check about the result and satisfied with it, he rubbed his entire body. The cream smelled faintly as peppermint. Nobody would notice it. It was far more discreet than cologne.

Suddenly Raph barged the door.

“Fearless, ya took your sweet time in there! I must go piss, now! Get out!”

Leo yelled him to wait a minute, the mouth full of toothpaste.

“Damn it, Leo, you in there for almost one hour! You turn off the shower a while ago! What do you fucking do? Shave your ass?”

Then, Donnie spoke in a worried tone;

“Leo, are you hurting yourself?”

Bewildered by the question, Leo opened the door, with still his blue brush tooth in the mouth. He spat in the sink and asked;

“Are you crazy, Donnie? Why would I do such a foolish thing?”

Donnie didn’t answer looking for blood evidence and then, his face expressed disbelief.

“Leo? Are you rubbing yourself with April’s cream?”

Leo didn’t have the time to answers, cursing himself to have been too distracted to hide this when Raph sniffed him and burst into laughter; while Michelangelo came over to see what this what about.

“Yes! He does! Do you doll up for a chick, Fearless?”

Leo flushed but hid it under anger.

“My skin itches the night. That prevented me to sleep.”

Donatello seemed thoughtful

“If so, Leo, you should tell me. There nothing to be ashamed about. I would make a better cream than this one for you.”

But Leo was ashamed. He was lying to his brothers, while they were only worried about him. Leo couldn’t even blame Karai for this. She wasn’t the one asking him to lie and deceive. She didn’t even insist on seeing him. He did. He felt as garbage now and tear misted his eyes.

“Please. I just need my space.” He said lowly, looking down.

Donatello pulled Raph toward him in a harsh gesture to prevent the hot head to insist.

“Of course, Leo. We leave you” and then, he pushed his other sibling toward the living room, not listening to Raph still wanting to pee.

Leo ran to hide his shame in his bedroom again. The sound of the rain was harder and he heard Donatello talking about possible flooded sewers.

Leo waited 15 minutes and then declared the curfew. Maybe not wanting to upset him worst, any of his siblings try to argue back.

It was now 11h10 and he had to wait to heard Raph’s snore. His heart pounding, he waited almost 30 minutes before going, his heart pounding. He couldn’t afford to make Karai waiting.

Outside the lair is was living-and liquid-hell. Waterfalls were flowing through the sewers, so fast and so fast that Leo was worried. He knew that Donatello had a pumping mechanism provided for in an emergency, but if the situation was perilous at home, his duty was to be with his family and bedding their enemy’s daughter.  

He hesitated a moment when his phone vibrated. Karai told him that she was waiting and he noticed that it was only 11:53. He was not late, but Karai was waiting for him. She seemed eager for him and suddenly, comforted, he ran to her home.

“You’re late, Leonardo. This deserves a punishment. Undress. “she said and a shiver ran his spine out of excitation and because he was frozen. She was wearing a leather outfit, with a short skirt and leaving his chest unveiled and she should have noticed the bump in his lower plastron. Karai was right. The rain had met the roof wet and he had slipped. He has been lost 5 minutes, with the too tick rain. He deserves whatever she wants to do to him.

“You’re maybe cold? Don’t worry, I will warm you up. Your first punishment would be to give me pleasure first. If you fail to this, I throw you out”

Leonardo bit his lips. He didn’t know how doing this but that means he would touch her. His erection was hard to hold back.

“I know you never be with a woman, so I will explain it to you. “

She spread her tight and hold herself open with her fingertips. She was breathing so hard as she commanded:

“Lick me and follow my breathing to know what I like. It’s your only hint”

Leo couldn't believe it. Karai was offering to him her treasured entrance, to him an awful mutant. He knows the woman had pleasure from there but how he didn’t know. Anyway, he could barely think, with the smell, so foreign, tart and sweet and earthy at once. So, enticing.

So, he lay down quickly and covered the entire opening of her vagina with his whole open mouth discovering and tasting her. His tongue explored her folds of skin and her main oily channel, so aromatic, twitching under his ministrations.  He plunged into her whit his tongue, wanting to feel another body by the inside the most he could. The feel of her tickling groin hair against his beak drove him crazy with lust.

His lip brushed something, strangely pearl-like in texture, and Karai jerked. Encouraged, he continued to tease the same spot, opening her more to see what he was so doing, cursing his too big finger, and she continues to squirm gratifyingly underneath him. Listening to her breathing, like she advised him, he continued to lick until she cried so loud that he jumped.

Her scream of pure lust was loud and primal and she shoved him away. Her breathing was erratic and Leo waited for her judgment.

“You definitively know how to give a girl a good time,” she said, still quivering and Leo’s heart swollen in pride to hear that praise, even more than when Master Splinter has congratulated him about a hard kata he manages to succeed.

“But now, you have a second trial to pass.” She continued pulling off from a box some rope.

Leo despite his neutral face was nervous. Would she tie him? All of this was only a trap? Anyway, perhaps he deserves dying to be such a traitor to his clan.

“Place your wrist over your head,” she orders and despite his anguish, Leo obeys. After she made him the honor to give her pleasure as he was worth something, he couldn’t deny her anything.

Karai tied him tight with the ropes and then, with a smirk, she pulled out her tanto. Leo didn’t flinch.

“You’re really Fearless and that why I like you…Now, tell me the truth: Are you really a virgin? I mean, I know you are with the girl” she explained, “but what about the boy? You swear not having fuck with your brother”

Leo started. He had daydreaming since the words “I like you” and now the reality strikes him with her question, still the same.

“No. Neither I or my brother had sex with each other.”

“Well, I would check if it true. If not, you’ll be punished. If you’ve been sincere, I’ll reward you.”

She seemed so pleased with herself and Leo thought that for her, it was only a game and not out of love like him. He sighs and whispers her to go ahead. The reward may make up for his disappointment.

“I wondered if I was to blindfolded you, but I prefer you to watch.”

She lowered her finger, along with the center line of her plastron, to the swelling of his slit.

 "Little Leo wants to be released?"

Leo nodded, waiting for the order, fearing every moment to spoil everything and that Karai stops and call all of this off whatever it was. "Drop down" she ordered and Leo complied, heaving a sigh of relief. Suddenly, she pushed the tip of the blade of her tanto under his throat. "What does my little boy have to tell me?" she asked with a threatening tone. Leo groaned a thank you and instinctively added "mistress" She made a smile that was as shivering as the blade under the jugular.

“Such a good quick-witted boy.”

She beguine stoked his cock and Leo’s toes curled. Under the pleasure, he closed his eyes, but she pinched him.

“Watch,” she said sucking her finger and then, before he could guess what she would do next, she breaching him wither a finger. Despite being so stoic, he yelped and she laughed.

“So tight!  You told me the truth. The sincere boy deserves his reward.” She purred, pushing her finger all the way, looking for something and sweat was rolling on Leo’s forehead. Maybe he should have studied sex more before coming because of all of this, being searches in so intimate way, being tied-up and naked, and helpless was too unnerving. There she touched something and he feels like he was swallowing his tongue.

“Want to say something?” she teased. “I bet you’re not cold anymore.”

He nodded unable to talk, just able to feel.

“So Leo, tell me you’re 17, right?”

He nodded again.

“Why are you a virgin? Did you keep yourself for someone special?”

What did this question mean? It wasn’t like he had a choice! But he nodded. That was probably what she wanted. "Am I special enough for you, I mean to lose it with me?”

Leo nodded more vigorously. This is it!

“Close your eyes,” she asked in a honeyed voice, pulling out her finger and leaving his leaking cock.

Heart pounding, he obeyed again and when she asked him to open it, he was astonished.

Karai was wearing a fake penis, stuck in a kind of belt and she stood at 5 inches from his face.

“You must suck it because I forgot about the lube.”

And there Leo's ego revolted, but a threatening flash passed through the amber eyes. "Suck it or you're out!

With reluctance, he put the tip of it in his mouth.

“Not enough. Deep throat it or it’s over. If you can do it for me, you don’t deserve to have any time soon.”

With a great application, he did what she told, putting as much as saliva he could.

Satisfied with his performance, she pulled out with a wet sound.

“Now you’re mine”

The fearless leader didn’t correct her. His control was so lacking by every piece of his being that he didn’t remember who he was, except for being a tactile being. Probably if she stopped to call him by his name, he would forget it.

“You don’t know, Leo, but I always know about your inner you. A rigid leader needs being free of their burden every now and then. A fighter must use their hand to another thing that holding a weapon.   Here, you’re nothing to stress about. You’re in charge of nothing. I’m in charge, you lay down and we drown in the pleasure, that’s it. You need this kind of leisure if you don’t want to become mad”

Karai’s word sounded right. It’s was indeed true. Obeying was far easier than ordered.

She penetrated him harshly and he tries to remain motionless.

“And I know you’re into pain. Nobody could train and fight that way if not.”

He wasn’t sure if it was true but he didn’t care, taking her in him. He felt so fulfilled, that for the first time in his life his stopped overthinking and worrying. There is nothing to do apart from accepting what she gives him and it was good to the point of insanity.

He didn’t know when but at one moment he had cum, but only a while later she leaves him.

“I’m tired. You must go. It passed 3:00.”

She unties him and he takes his discharged gears around the pieces. His head was buzzing and his rear was throbbing. And he felt so filthy and sticky but he didn’t have the choice. It was indeed very late. She turned her back and went probably to her room, leaving him to go without a goodbye.

Outdoor, the rainstorm was still there, but no having the choice he passed the window.

 

When he arrived at the lair, he was cold. Despite his teeth chattering, he walked silently through his house. And it is there that a voice emerged from the shadows. "Only people out of their mind, huh?" Michelangelo asked and Leo blushed with anger. Why couldn’t he have a private life? He didn’t ask Mikey about his love life. Mikey opened the light and in front of his soaked brother, he forgot his anger for being concerned. "I got you a towel, I'll make you tea." The youngest brought the eldest into the kitchen, and Leo tried not to be too stiff while he was walking. Mikey wrapped his shell in a towel with care and he felt remorseful again. As the tea boiled, the silence was broken only by Leo's clanging teeth, Mikey spoke," You know, you don’t need to go out and spy on girls to jerk off. Yeah, Donnie told me about your " intimates issues", as you said. But, you know, you don't have to sneak out, there what you need here in the lair…I mean there is porn site for this, dude if you need the inspiration to beat off” Mikey clarified.

Leo flushed. What was the worst scenario? Being taken for a stalker or Karai’s sex slave? He preferred to remain silent. But he won't ever confess something to Donatello again. 

“Here your tea, bro.”

Leo took his tea in silence. The hot brewage was so good right now, clarifying his mind and warming his body. Leo was about to thanks his brother when the big grin on his face just drop.

“What happens to your wrist?” Mikey asked, concerned, snatching Leo’s arm. The leader bit his lip. The rope has left an evident mark. Leo in a panic tried to pull out but it was too late. Mikey was too an experienced ninja to mistake what kind of mark it was.

“What happens,” Mikey asked suddenly upset. “Someone attacked you?” Then, Mikey lowered his head sniffing him. “I can tell you've had sex. You're giving off too many pheromones. You…you're not jerking off while peeping in windows …I smell someone else. You met someone!” Mikey’s voice was rising and Leo tried to shut him with his hand.

“Shush Mikey! Let me explain”

But Mikey seemed far to upset:

“Why are doing this? Risking your life, meeting stranger in the dark? Accepting to be tied-up? You know what, I swore I wouldn't tell on you about sneaking around, but I said if this wasn’t dangerous!”

Dread filled Leo’s vein.

Mikey would denounce him to all your family. Master Splinter would look at him in a disgusted way and…The fear blind him:

“Shut up Mikey! Mind your own love life and don’t meddle in mine!” he growled.

Then, Mikey feature twisted in such a coldness mask that Leo was stunned by the change

“That's exactly what I’m doing right now. Minding my love life” he said icily.

Then, realization strike Leonardo.

“You are the brother she keeps talking about!” he exclaimed.

Mikey turned his back, walking in fast stride toward his bedroom.

“I don’t even want to know who she is!” he yelled, before slamming the door.

Shocked, Leo remains speechless.


	4. Chapter 4

When his legs were able to understand the order of his brain to move, he knew it was too late. Mikey had locked his door, and although Leo could pick the lock, Mikey was too irate and hurt to be forced to communicate. He turned back slowly to his room since Mikey had probably already awakened at least Master Splinter. He collapsed on his bed as soon as he entered his room, although he knew that it was utterly useless. He couldn’t sleep in this distraught state, and moreover, he had to get up in less than two hours anyway. He could only think of what Mikey had said, trying madly to discover another meaning. That Karai had annoyed him about one of his brothers meant nothing at all. Karai purpose in life was to torment him.

He didn’t reflect on what had happened with her. He may have lost his virginity in many ways, that didn’t worth losing his brother. And all his family by the way because now, hateful, Mikey would report him.

How in the world had he managed to lose Mikey’s affection? His little brother was adoring him since ages! How could he had lets his hormones wreck his brotherly relationship?

But, according to Mikey, there was more than that…He drowns the voice in his head that just spoke up. It was silly; his brother didn’t mean loving Leo as a lover would do. Probably Mikey wanted to say that an essential part of his love life was concerned by his family. That’s it! Or that he couldn’t focus on his love life if his family weren’t safe?

He couldn’t blame Mikey to be worried. Seeing his brother soaked, lumping, with rope mark on the wrist, Michelangelo have all the reason of the world to report him, for his safety. He will do it. And never again Leonardo would feel being torn apart by his pride and pleasure, praised by the cruel lips of the woman he adores despite himself.

He shivered, thinking of her, again.

What all of that mean? They had sex. Does that mean there are together, now? Does that mean she loves him back?

But all of these questions were pointless because Michelangelo would put an abrupt end to his love story and sexual life tomorrow morning, in fact, in a few hours. He didn’t know what his father would do to him. Probably remove his leader title, and send him away, the time he regains his senses and forget about Karai.

Or maybe his father would reject him and thrown him out of the lair. What he would do, then? Joins the Foot? Perhaps it was what Karai want. Even Raphael would be agreed: without Leonardo, their team would be a lot weaker. If Leonardo would be part of the Foot, his brother couldn’t stand a chance. Leonardo was the master key, the tactician, knowing all of their weakness and Donnie’s security system, besides being a formidable swordsman. A good plus-value for Shredder. Maybe it’s was indeed the reason for Karai’s interest.

Bring him to the dark side.

She doesn’t say sweet words to him, but she managed to give him a titanium hard erection.

And so much pleasure. He still felt it, in all his lower body, so aching. A low burn, so addictive.

And Mikey would wreck everything.

His minds continued to go back and fork between Mikey and Karai, to finally stay on her, while it was still allowed. And then, it was already the time to get up to affront his fate.

The first sigh he had was the tea mug, left in the kitchen, a few hours earlier. With a pinch in his heart, he remembered how Mikey has been loving, giving him comfort and care after the twisted sex he had.

Did Mikey love him? Did he get out the lair, seeking love when he had already all he needs here? But having sex with Mikey seemed so wrong, gross even. He could never have a physical relationship with him; it would be too much insane!

Yes, he had misunderstood Mikey’s reply and his tired mind made up this scenario. Karai, with all her innuendos and allusion to incest, had played with his head. It was the explication. Now, it was settled. He would never think about that ever again, it was far too much disturbing.

He threw in the sink the cold tea and made himself another. Anyway, it was again pointless thought. Mikey was now disgusted by him, and he didn’t even know who was his…Lover? Mistress? What will happen if they know? Because, if nobody knows that his sex partner was Karai, maybe it wasn't that bad. Leo never pronounced a chastity oath. He could have sex, even out of the lair, if he wants to. Master Splinter trusted his judgment, knowing how cautious he was. Leonardo would never endanger their family; it was a fact. Having sex with Karai don't put any of them at risk, except Leo himself. His Sensei would understand: they were in this semi mating season, and he was a teenager needing some loving. Donatello would give him his thumbs up. The scientist himself had said that it was healthy to have some stimulation. He would only tell a fake story about rescuing a girl who "reward him."

That if was if Mikey speaks about him. Maybe he won't do it, either. The brothers rarely report on each other to their father. If one of them misbehave, Leonardo chose the punishment, often only a lecture or a confiscation or when it was terrible, he grounded them.

But never Leonardo has been disciplined because he never misbehaves. Nobody would believe that what Leonardo does outside out the lair could be such treason.

More confident, he poured the boiling water, almost serene when the noise of a slammed cabinet's door made him jump.

Mikey wasn't an early bird. Being awake so early wasn't like him at all, but seeing his tired feature, he supposed that Mikey didn't sleep well either. His brother waited for him and then, they argue.

In fact, they didn't have a real argument, Mikey having left too soon for this, but it remains that it was unusual that Mikey and Leo argue.  Mikey wasn't angry too long either, usually. His longest sulking achievement was three days to have a damn cat, and Leo had yielded, too weak to resist to the youngest puppy's eyes.

But never in his life, Mikey had slammed a door, and then, in less than three hours, he did it twice.  Never also, Mikey had given him the silent treatment and still, it what was Mikey was doing right now, purposely ignoring him, opening the cabinet and searching for his cereal box with a sharp gesture.

Mikey seemed genuinely upset and that sigh broke Leo's heart. he must do something about that.

"Mikey, I need to talk to you."

Mikey acted as if he didn't hear him, opening now the fridge to take out the milk.

" I get that you' re upset because you believe I put myself at risk. I assure you it's the case at all. I'm cautious."

In a sharp move, Mikey turned his head toward him with a disgusted expression and opened his mouth to reply something and then, change his mind, closing it.

"I'm sorry for the night you spend waiting for me. You've must be very worried, but I assure you, I handle the situation."

Mikey slammed the fridge door so hard that Leo grows angry.

“I said I’m sorry! Why do you make such a big deal of it!  I can defend myself and if I’m the leader it's because Master Splinter trusts my decision.”

“Fearless, again with your identity crisis. We fucking know that you’re the damn leader. Stop yelling about it every now and then. I would never kiss your ass, anyway even if Master Splinter act as it is made of pure gold. Ask Fanboy. He like licked it!” Raph said, grabbing the milk carton from Mikey’s hand.

Even Raph, after having drunk from the carton, feel the chilly atmosphere. He lifted an eye ridge, looking at the coldness coming from Mikey and the unease posture of Leo.

He didn't comment right away.

" I think Donnie would sleep in. Science guy must have a rough night, checking non-stop at all the security tech to avoid the lair being flooded. Hey, cook boy, what is on the chief’s menu today for breakfast?"

Raph was rarely so chatty before 7:00 AM, but he looked as if he wanted to warm the atmosphere. Leo kind of hoped it would work and, at least, Mikey would answer to Raph. The youngest wasn't mad at him. But, he was quickly disappointed.

Mikey slammed his cereal bowl on the table, to the point to break it.

"Shove your breakfast in you ass! I'm done being the damn cook slave!"

Raph and Leo, stunned were staring at each other. Mikey loved cooking for them, doing so for almost ten years and never he had cursed. But it was Donnie would reply, in a sulky tone, as he always had before his coffee.

" Don't do it then, but shut up!" he shrugged, walking a zombie pace toward his brewing coffee machine. " Anyway, the only one would be punished by that it's Leo. Raph and I could cook as well as you."

Maybe Donnie thought that would make Mikey speak and do otherwise but he knows that he has been mistaken when Mikey replied coldly:

"I know that. He could starve. I don't give a shit!"

A bomb in the lair would have seized less Donnie and Raph. The two turtles have two different ways to cope with the unknown. Raphael grows angry:

" You see, Leo? You had passed your shitty mood to the kid!"

And Donnie becomes 56% curious and 44% worried.

"What is all about, Mikey? You may have a temporary grudge against Leo for some reason but, he is still your brother and leader. You couldn't mean what you just said."

Leo stayed silent, looking down, careful to keep a neutral expression despite all the sadness he felt. That's Mikey meant it for sure. And in a few minutes, he would wreck Leo's life with his breaking news.

But, Mikey kept his mouth shut, eating his cereals, refusing to look up from it. So, Leo stayed there, mute, to nauseate to drink his tea, his head buzzing with question and anxieties.

He had spent a fierce and wild night with his crush, but he has lost Mikey. It wasn't about him, wanting a cat, anymore. It wasn't about being worried about Leo.

Mikey was hurt, and the idea that maybe Mikey has been in love with him strike him again because if not, there no reason for him to take that so badly. Mikey didn't know that it was Karai, he must believe it was only an unknown woman.

No, it can’t be. Mikey was just in a teenage phase or this damn end of spring was playing with his nerves. All of them was crankier than usual.

"Good morning my son."

The arrival of Master Splinter in the kitchen broke the circle of thought of the leader. He greeted in a low voice his father, looking up only a moment.

"Leonardo, you don't seem well. I don't understand. The last days must have been beneficial to you. No patrol, less training. But you look pale and exhausted."

There, Mikey would say it: its because Leo sneak out of the lair to have sex with a stranger.

But, to his astonishment, Mikey only made a derisive snort and raised up to put his bowl in the sink without a word.

" Master, Mikey is on strike. Donnie would make the breakfast for you."

The genius protested, his mouth full of bread:

"Why me? Why not you! I didn't even breakfast because I'm too busy! You're the one eating all these egg and bacon. Do it!"

Splinter rise his hand to have the silence.

" Leonardo, did you have eaten?" Seeing his son slowly shook his head, the rat decided;

"We'll make breakfast together, then. I would show you how..."

"Again?" Raph asked with disbelief.

"There was a long time since I assisted your brother in the kitchen," Splinter replied, calmly, but Donatello was far from calm:

"You mean since he put the oven on fire and then all the kitchen? Was a sweet memory!" he said with sarcasm.

Leo blushed, to the end of the table, listening to the argument and the nasty comment about how he was a failure in a kitchen. Why they spoke of that again, like he didn't know that he was indeed a big failure, even as a brother. Mikey had to regale himself to see him suffer like this: a kind of hijacked vengeance. But Leo, seeing Karai, hadn’t intended to hurt.

Yes, he knew that it wasn’t the good thing to do, to have secret rendezvous with his enemy daughter, but he had projected to upset someone, and even least Mikey.

He looked around to see if his little brother was there, listening to their other sibling making fun of him. But Mikey had disappeared, not wanting to be in the same room than him more than necessary.

Like an automaton, he tried to follow his father's advice, not even startling, when the splash of oil burned him. He ate because his Sensei was watching him closely, but everything had a taste of cardboard and ashes.

He should be happy, he tried to convince himself, he had a lover, experimenting thing his bro would never, but maybe he would have been better than he stays with his hand, but with them, then to be alone with a kind of enemy with benefit.

He dreaded the moment of training, and as if someone somewhere was conspiring to drive him crazy, his father made him spare with Mikey. The first 10 minutes, Mikey was wild, as he wanted to destroy him, and Leo has barely the time to dodge. His throbbing lower body didn't help him, but then, Mikey threw away his nunchucks.

"I'm done!"

Master Splinter look at them, incredulous:

" Michelangelo, it's not to you to decide if training his over. It's to Leonardo or me that this decision could come from."

"I don't take an order...Mikey begins looking at Leo with disgust.

"Michelangelo! I don't know what is all about, but recently I feel as if my more reliable child is Raphael and that is disturbing." The master said, rubbing his forehead in irritation. Raph didn't comment, flashing his teeth, receiving praise rather rarely.

" I think that maybe I'm too old to be your master and perhaps I must be just a paternal figure for you. Anyway, the time at come to put you on trial, Leonardo."

The word trial bring to Leo's mind flash of leather and whip and leaking female sex.

"Yes, Master."

" I would stay at Miss O'Neil's place for the next six weeks. You'll be in charge. I already said a word to her about that; I would go tonight. You will accompany me, and when I come back I expect it would be normal again!"

His heart pounding, Leo weighed the pros and cons: He would be freer to act as he wishes but also, an even more traitor. And Mikey would give him a harder time than Raphael. He doubted that things would come back to normal one day.

" I hope not to disappoint you, Sensei."

Mikey made another snort and their Master dismiss then. Donnie was happy: training was such a waste of time. Raph didn't mind. He liked training but not being supervised. Mikey was already out and in his bedroom according to his ears.

Leonardo bowed his Sensei and went to his room to meditate. He has reflected all the day about it and didn't come to a decision yet other than waiting as a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. Mikey didn't want to talk to him either listen to him, but the situation can't go forever like this. Mikey couldn’t tell, his behavior was a huge giveaway.

Then, he decided to write a letter to his brother. Leo would slip it under Mikey door and maybe, Mikey would read it. But, while he was writing this, he crushed the paper in his hand. Al of this was lies anyway. He couldn't beg a pardon, not telling the entire truth.

 He told himself that the only solution was to call everything off. Karai has given him news pleasures, but he feels like he was eaten a pizza alone. He should share it with his brother or starve! Maybe it was the reason for Mikey's resentment. His little brother wanted a girlfriend too. If he said to Mikey he wouldn't do it again; his youngest brother would probably forgive him

His T-phone vibrate at the same moment, and as it was a bad novel, it was indeed Karai.

**“I hope you're not too sore, little boy.  I plan a lot of fun with you, soon. And if you behave well, you would maybe have a better reward. Maybe you want to good deeper…"**

A picture was joint to the text, and Leo feels tight in his shell. Karai had sent him a photo of her sex. She was wet on it, and all Leo's reservation was forgotten.

He didn't know what replied to that, wondering if he should send a photo of him, as well, but his cock wasn't exciting at all. Nothing, in fact, was fascinating about him. He wrote;

**“I must patrol tonight. I have duties.”**

After having sent the text, he found himself ridiculous. Karai would mock him again with his boy scot attitude. But, he didn't expect that at all:

**" Well, I miss you too much, so I would lead a patrol, too. Maybe we could kiss in a dark alley when our little soldier fight."**

Leo was revolted to the idea. Never he would kiss when his brother was in a fight, but then, he found the idea almost exciting. To see Karai, dressed, at the head of the Foots, knowing what she looks under her armor and what her sex smelled, but having to face her and fight her to keep a cover. It was indeed a twisted but thrilling foreplay!  He would give her a good show too, with his sword for that she knows it wasn't only good on his knees, purring underneath her.

Eager, having forgotten all his familial troubles, he wrote:

**" I will be there."**


	5. Chapter 5

After the text, Leo was dizzy by happiness. In a few hours, he would see Karai and kiss her, maybe. Maybe he could even mark her pale flesh with a purple hickey on her neck. He looked at his wrist. The mark from the rope wasn't there anymore. Perhaps it was some mutant healing. Donnie talks about it, once. Without Mikey, nobody would know if his bruises were disappearing in such a short time. And that means that Karai could use and mark him again, covering his body with swelling bruises to kiss it after. She could whip him, bit him, scratch him...carve her name in his jade-green leather. At this, he had a shiver...She could do all of this and 6 hours later, noting would betray him.  
He so needed this, and he didn't even know why. Being possessed had some positive effect on him, as a soothing drug. If Karai wanted to enslave him, it was because he was useful, precious to her. It’s been a while since he felt be something else that an annoying big brother. And all days, his brothers were there to remember him that they didn't even need Leo. Raph was a tank, Donnie a genius, and Mikey could make a lot friend so easily. All of them was able to cook, to train and to entertain themselves. A leader was in many aspects, useless to them. And anyway, there was no challenge there.

Being Karai’s pet seemed to him more enviable than being the leader of his little brothers. He had mothering them for nearly two decades and was sick and tired of this. He needed to unplug his worrying function. He was yearning for this blankness of the mind. Not having to care about or being in command of anything, even himself. Just lay down, stop thinking, follow a few simple orders, and get the reward.  
Karai’s reward must eventually be to be his lover. To be one with her. It was so bad to want this and yet, so craving.

And tonight, he would see her...and he didn't want to know what expect. And this blur was so exciting! All of his life was so predictable and boring since the last 6 months.

Karai would look at him straight in the eyes, so formidable with and sword and she would want to drag him into a dark alley, to tame him as her wish...

Leo could hide his excitation and his shame about it in his room. These mixing feelings were eating him alive.  
But hiding wasn't something that Fearless Leader does.  
Karai's text put his blood on fire, and he was feeling so manly and strong. If the kunoichi was willing to take the risk to be caught by her soldiers, french-kissing their enemy, from a few foots from the battle, he must act as un leader, too. He was now the master of the clan, while Splinter absence and so, his brothers own him respect! The respect they need to show!

He needed to put an end to Michelangelo tantrum, even before the departure of their father. This drama of the morning has been ashaming for him, but it wasn't his only concern. Because he would sneak out of the lair eventually and he wanted to know if he could count on Mikey discretion or not. He didn't need a Mother Hen looking for him each night and judging him by his potential bruises.

If Mikey wanted to be Leonardo's enemy, as much as he revealed himself as such, immediately. Leo can handle opponent much worse than his immature little brother. Karai was giving her heart and body to a real man. Mikey wanted to challenge his authority? Leo would rise to that challenge and win, to show Karai that he was a master, a powerful male, respected and obeyed by his clan and a good lover, and maybe those sarcastic puns from her would stop. She said so: he wasn't that bad: he had a big cock, and stamina. Maybe Karai would respect him enough to let him take her. But that wouldn't happen if he can maintain order in his own home!

Jacked up on adrenaline, he walked in greats strides toward the bedroom of the youngest. The music coming from there was so loud that Mikey didn't hear him come until the door opened with a strong push-kick.  
His brother was lying on his stomach, appearing as crying while listening to an old song that Raph put on often when he was so moody. Leo didn’t know what the title was, but its first guess would be “Burn motherfucker.” since that was what the singer was continually bawling. Mikey sometimes was so overdramatic, but Leonardo tried to remain cool.

Mikey's face, though streaked with tears, writhed with ire as he recognized the intruder. He raises up of his bed apparently very mad. Leo, then, could take a look at was Mikey was looking before a family album. But he wasn't there to be coaxed. Mikey needed to some discipline to go back on track.

"How dare you..." Mikey begins, but Leo shushed him by pulling out harshly the T-POD wire from the speakers.

" How dare you act like an emo 13 years-old? What was that fit from this morning?" Leo yelled, shoving Mikey on his bed.

" Don't fucking touch me!" Mikey yelled in turn, struggling against the leader." Go fuck with your new girlfriend or something!" he growled, his peacock eyes shining with anger.  
Leo tried to cool down, but, most of the time, when he forced himself to be calm, he was instead cold. In a firm tone, he asked;  
"Why are you so mad about this? I mean, about me, going out. I admit. I have someone. But..."  
Mikey pushed him so hard, turning him over, that Leo's voice cuts out, out of surprise, his breath froze in his chest  
Mikey was pinning him on the mattress, his hands over his head, pressing against him, snarling in his face.  
"Do you have to rub it in my face?”  
Leo’s eyes were wide, and he opened his mouth to protest that it wasn't what he does, but his mind came kind of blank when Mikey's lips rushed to his in a feverish kiss. This kiss wasn't as those of Karai. They were hunger and a passion that Karai's kiss didn't have. Maybe it was because Mikey was a turtle too and his mouth fitted better with his. Leo doesn't' overthink about it. He moaned under the kiss, feeling how Mikey's body was so warm.  
Leo followed the lead of the lips, without a second thought, with an automatic eagerness. Then, the realization strikes him: He couldn't kiss Mikey if he wanted to be with Karai. It would be unfair to Mikey and her. Leo was many things but not unfaithful. He detached his lips by turning the head suddenly. 

Mikey's eyes were hooded, and some saliva was still shining on his lower lip.

"Do you understand, now why I'm so upset about it?” he asked, in a husky tone. " Because it was your question, isn't? You spend the morning to give another sense to my words earlier because you couldn't stomach the truth."

Mikey's voice was bitter at the end, and Leo was so pressed against him that he didn't know which heart was pounding, his or Mikey's.

"Yeah, I loved you and wanted you. I gave you daily's hint, for almost two years, but it isn't duties based, you're so oblivious! And then, you look elsewhere to find what was under your nose, since age!"

The leader swallowed his saliva. He never realized this, but it didn't matter because he loved Karai, not Mikey. But, knowing that before, he would have been more careful, to not be discovered and upset his brother. Michelangelo didn't deserve to suffer because of him, the jerk. Mikey's body over him was now hot as a furnace and the fire began to win Leo, too.

"Mikey..." Leo begins.

Michelangelo's pushed his hips forward, rubbing his lower plastron against Leo's, making him feel his bulge. Leo couldn’t hold back a whimper. His little brother nuzzled in his neck, scratching his teeth on his collarbone.  
"I like the sound you made and the scent you give off...I wanted to feel you shaking underneath me since forever, bro. Now, it's out in the open. So, what the leader would do? Do you will kiss me again or, leave?" he growled, still his mouth hidden in the hollow of his neck.

Leo shivered, feeling the hot breath against his flesh. He had never thought that his brother could be so bewitching. All of his limbs felt as melted wax and he stayed one moment again under the spell. Mikey's body seemed kind of right. His hypnotic teal gaze was burning him to the core. He felt like drowning in his so intense irises, and he remained there, like a humble rodent frozen in front of a boa,

But then, the idea of Karai come to him. There were together, right? So, pushing further was like cheating. He couldn't do that. It was so bad. Mikey would understand.  
He begins to struggle, but he didn't have to be violent that his brother was already straight up, opening his bedroom door, his face neutral.  
"So, you leave, then."  
The leader tried to take control of himself.  
"Mikey...I can't...I'm with someone else." he stammered.

  
His youngest brother looked down, maybe for hiding his tear. When he looked up, his expression was resolute but cold.  
" I understand. Don't worry. I keep your secret. You can still join her and fuck her when I am content with my hand" he snarled.  
Leo felt like trash, seeing his brother trying to remind staid despite his heartache. Mikey remained loyal and won’t betray him, regardless of his feeling for the leader. It was generous. Mikey, in two sentences, could blow his life away. And, worst, what lover Mikey could expect from the future? The choice was few...  
Leonardo came close to him, wanting to put his hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. But Mikey broke free:

" Don't dare ever touch me again. I'm your bro, the cook, the jokester and the nunchuks guy, but never...just try to touch me in a kindly way." he spat.

With a heavy heart, Leo exited the room. Despite knowing that Mikey would shut up, his situation wasn't any better and he felt worst than some hours ago. 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

It had been three times since Raphael complained aloud that their patrol was more like an erratic walk. Donnie had his head dipped into his T-phone and Mikey ... Leo didn't dare to look at him, fearing that afterward, his discomfort would be too evident on his face. Mikey didn't say anything. Raphael had teased the youngest boy several times over his sudden silence but failed to reach Mikey. Leonardo hadn't interfered about that. He had passed the day trying to forget about what Mikey told him. It was impossible but, he had almost convinced himself that this fancy of Mikey was past and soon, the youngest would forget about it and move on. Maybe, Mikey had already begun to. He had followed for the patrol, without a word.

In fact, Raph was right.  They didn't patrol.  Leo didn't have the crime in his mind anymore, as a top priority.  But, he must hide it.

" Raph, I already told you: I have the prescient that the Foots are up to something. We are looking for them!"

It was indeed true. Leo was looking for them; he was aching for them because SHE would be there too.

"You're kind of tense, Leo; Your fingers aren't stopped twitching. Your intuition must be very vivid." Donnie noticed.

" Yes." Leo replied, without really listening, too busy to watch, and Raph joked about that "it's must be a leader thing."

Then, they arrived, and Leo, jumped in the middle of the Foot, forgetting about his cover,

"What the fuck, Leo? Where this damn plan of your?!" Raph shouted, jumping at his side. " Since when you rush on the enemy like that? I have the copyright for this kind of way."

Leo didn't answer, dodging katanas strike and looking for Karai. Then, he saw her: she was smiling, with this smug grin of her. He must reach her.

" The bitch is there! I'm so breaking her damn face!"

Leonardo hissed at that:

"Shut up. You don't have to use cheap insult against her. She is an honorable enemy and as the leader, it's my prerogative to fight with her, not yours."

"Whatever chief! But if your crush comes near me, I swear, I bit." Raph growled.

Usually, Leo would protest that Karai wasn't his crush, but he was far too concerned to keep her away and safe from Raphael.

Just to piss him off, it seemed that Karai had brought with her more soldier than usually and Raph, as a tank, was closer to her that he was. His conscience makes him look for his other sibling before doing something harsh.

Don was okay. He wasn't surrounded, not being the more threatening.  But it was Mikey that caught the leader's attention. His youngest brother was apparently letting off some steam. Leo had never seen him that aggressive. Even if Michelangelo didn't know that indeed, Karai was his secret lover, he wouldn't wait that he reach her too.

Making his way, among the Foot soldiers, he finally came to her. "What about time!" she said, holding her sword in front of her to pretend fight. " You seem to have a hard time! I even have time to notice your two others brother's muscles!"

Leo narrowed his eyes and took his fight stance. He decided not to pay attention to her words. Karai liked too much to distract him.

" I mean, you're maybe the leader and the swordsman of your family, but not even the strongest or the fiercer. I wonder why your father favorized you among them. Did your brothers are bigger than you from everywhere? It's so; I must rethink my choice of you as my sex partner."

These words hurt him so much.

" I mean, your brother is a warrior! So much bulkier than you! Even the lovestruck one is more naturally skilled,"

"Stop talking about them!" Leo yelled, in a distressed rage.

A gleam lit in the kunoichi amber eyes:

"So, no more " _I don't know what you're talking about Karai! There nothing between my brother and me"_ she mocked. "So, he confesses to you? How pathetic!  I understand why you're not interested in him, despite him being so an athlete. But, the red one, he must have a huge cock and took pain even better than you. He is so macho" Karai sneered.

"Don't go there!" Leonardo hissed. "Why do you tell me that? If I don't matter to you why do you play with me?"

"Because you 're more fun."

Tear of pain and anger misted the leader's eyes.

" Find you another playmate, then! I'm done with your games"

"Oh, did I hurt your feelings, Leo?"

The truth was yes, she did, but how to admit it? She has already so much humiliated him. Karai has seen him, the proud leader, on his knee. Karai had heard his moan and whimper; He felt so exposed, so weak now in front of her. Never before he has trusted someone that much. He hoped to deserve her love, to have done so. And now, she was making fun of him. It was a nightmare. But he should have expected it. How someone could love him!

The pain was making his movement sloppy. They were now fighting in a dark alley, away from the other, when he could expect no help but don't have a witness to his shame, either. But he didn't mind now been stabbed or not. He just wanted that she denies what she had just said or shut-up. The kunoichi was now pressing him against the wall, her blade on the jade colored neck. She must have felt his emotional pain and regret be the cause of it because she spoke:

"Don't worry; I rather play with you. You're still my favorite," she whispered, her lips so close. " And I had thought about what you and I could do together...I mean as a couple"

Leo looked at her with uncertain eyes. She just said the words he was longing for. 

" Stay away from him" a voice roared, and at the same time, a sudden pain makes him wince. He falls on his knee, pressing a hand on his wound. Karai has just stabbed him, between the heart and the shoulder and before he could react, Donatello was already fussing over him.

"Why do you let her drag you away! You know she is dangerous, Leo. You can't deal with her alone." Donnie reproach. " This injury is serious; we must go back to the lair, now!"

Leo was still shocked by the event.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"Don't worry. Raph and Mikey are hunting her as a hound. She couldn't escape both of them." Donatello growled" You may lose a bit of your plastron, but your heart isn't touched, I think, thank God. But you bleed a lot. We must go back, now. I need to examine you with more light!"

Then, Leo understand. Karai has stabbed him for the cover. They couldn't be seen in a dark alley without fighting almost making-out. So, she stabs him, but in a safe place. With Leo apparently gravely injured, he didn't have to defend her against his brothers and so, being discovered.

" Can you walk?"

The truth was that Leo could walk, but if he lied about so, his brother would return to help him, because Donatello couldn't drag him alone and so Karai would escape.

"I'm not sure, Donnie. You should rather call Raph and Mikey"

Very concerned now, because the leader never asked for help, Don nodded. Anxiously he picked his T-phone.

"We must go back to the Lair. Leo is hurt. He can't walk." he stated, with a sharp tone that he used when one of them was severely wounded, only.

Leo closed his eyes. He felt dizzy probably because of the bleed lost, but mainly ashamed. Donnie was worried about him when Leo deserved so much worse than that.

When he opened them two blurred figures were above him: Raph and Don. Donatello was talking about maybe poisoned blade and Raph was now concerned too.

"Damn Fearless, ya look like shit! Why are ya dealt alone with the Eastern Witch! Ya talk shit to us about how she is dangerous, and then, ya go solo! Let me help you!"

Raph put Leo's arm around his shoulder, helping him to walk.

It was only in front of the utility hole that Leo realize the absence of someone.

" Where is Mikey?" he gurgled while his two other siblings were helping him out to enter into the sewers.

Raph shrugged.

" He wanted to make the bitch pay for what happens to you. He told me he would be back when it's done or the sunrise. Mikey is never mad, but I admit when he is, he is kind of frightening. Even me, I was almost afraid. But don't tell him I said that." he explained, with a little blush. 

Leo said nothing while a bad feeling was crushing his soul. If Mikey has guessed right about the identity of Leo's secret lover?

At the lair, Donnie has given him a sedative. Leo has accepted to take it, believing it was a regular one, but it must haven’t been the case since he wakes up almost 20 hours later, he noticed incredulously, seeing the wall clock.

Raph at his bedside, reading a motorcycle magazine.

"You're awake, Sleeping Beauty! Been time! I was afraid to have to kiss you!" Raph joked.

"What happens..." Leo stuttered. " I mean, I remember being hurt by Karai..." While he was saying this, he remembered he had been hurt, before the blade even touch him. " I want to know what happen when I was out of it."

Raph shrugged.

" Donnie did his magic. Maybe in two days, if ya take it easy, we' ll have a Fearless brand new! Except for this little chip that Donnie had to take off. Ya look now as handsome as me."

The leader knows his brother. If Raph was so in a funny mood, it must be because he has been very afraid for him. Raphael was far too proud to admit it, so being joking around was his way to cope with it and hide it.

"Did Mikey is back?" Leonardo asked, shivering to think of Mikey going after Karai. His youngest brother should know that the kunoichi was his true rival and maybe, out of jealousy, he had looked for revenge. But it wasn't Mikey at all to act in this ruthless way.

" Yeah. He didn't catch the bitch. He had slept in him too. I don't know where he is, now. Must eat or play action figure. He didn't come here since I'm watching over ya, while Doc was sleeping."

Leo proceeded the new. Mikey was so disgusted with him that he didn't even check in to see if Leo was fine.

"So, Don says ya can't train your upper body. He thinks it would be better if ya don't train at all, but I told him ya would never do that. So, it's the compromise." Raph explained, cracking his stiff neck.

Leonardo says nothing for a minute, thinking about a painful memory from the night before. Karai had made fun of his physic, finding his brothers more attractive. What if...Karai reject him to chose one of his siblings over him?

" Raph...Tell me...How do you manage to be so...muscular?"

Raphael chocked on his soda.

His green eyes were full of disbelief.

" What de fuck, bro? Are ya hitting on me?"

Leo shook his head.

"Of course, not...I just realized that maybe I could take some mass, too.  Even Mikey is bulkier than me. So, tell me about your routine." Leo asked with eagerness. He was a hard worker. Maybe he was too focused to made perfect movement and not about acquiring muscle and strength.  Now that he was efficient, he could do bodybuilding if it was what turning Karai on. Karai had said he was still his favorite, has talked to be together with him, as a couple, and take the risk to stab him in front of his brother knowing how dangerous it was. She has done so for the sake of their relationship.

Raph was still incredulous.

"What a dumbass question! Ya watch me like a hawk and boss me around since our birth to the point to drive me nut. Ya know my routine. And I don't see why ya should change yours. Eat a slightest less healthy diet to take 5 or 10 pounds, and ya will be good. And anyway, Don has said not hard training." he concluded as the case was over if Don pulled out his doctor card out of his lab coat sleeve.

Leo narrowed his eyes.

" I'm not that stupid to do deltoid, but I could judge myself for the rest."

Hearing that, Raph cursed him a lot, calling him stupid pig-head in many creative ways. Then, he snapped, mimicking Leo's voice:

  "I'm the master, and nobody could tell me shit! Fuck ya, Leo! Fuck yourself up! I don't give a damn anymore!"

Raph's eyes were misted with tears, and Leo felt terrible. Why was he such a bad brother and leader? Why all his life was now that complicate! He loved his brothers and cared so much for them. Why couldn't he be content with that? Raph was!

" What the big deal, this time?" Mikey asked, holding a bowl of soup.

" This addict want to train because his pride is hurt to see you bulkier than him."

In a false low-voice, Mikey articulated clearly, pointing his head.

" Must be the med kicking in. Don't mind him. I would take the next watch turn. Go eat." he suggested, and Raph didn't wait being told twice. He left, mumbling how Leo was a stubborn asshole. 

Alone with Leo, Mikey turned the spoon into the soup, wordlessly and looked down and the leader felt his apprehension grow. This silence wasn't Mikey, but maybe he didn't know very well his youngest brother. One week before, he has denied fiercely that one of his brothers was in love with him.

Then, Michelangelo looked up, with an unreadable expression.

" I have searched in your T-phone."

Dread filled Leo. He didn't remember if he had erased the last text of Karai. He has been careless, convinced that his brothers were too respectful of him to search his things. He was mad at Mikey to have been so curious and mostly at himself. Obviously, Mikey was still jealous and Leo had wrongly judged the situation.

"Mikey..."Leo begins cautiously.

"I want to hear it from your month, Leonardo because I can't believe what I saw on your phone," Mikey said in an even tone.

To the torture, Leo understood that he was there. He had to admit everything. Mikey didn't seem so revolted. Probably because he suspected it. "Tell me why you fuck her ...Why you love her" Mikey's voice was still expressionless, a little bit quivering, but it was as if he wanted to understand and maybe it was indeed what Leo needed. A confident. Mikey was over his crush on him and wanted only to understand his big brother because he was worried despite their argument.

" You know...it's been a while. I just...you know I always find her beautiful. She is so talented, smart and funny. She is independent and proud. Her eyes are as shining as jewels, and she could have every guy she wants. But she is interested in me! And we have a lot of common interest! Nobody shares my passions except for Master Splinter!"

Leonardo went up in enthusiasm, describing the charms of his beloved, without noticing the darkening of Mikey. But everything broke out when Leo came to "I have a lot of worries, and I need to know that my girlfriend knows how to defend herself, you have to admit that she is a great opponent and that no woman can handle blades like Karai does."

Mikey paled and asked in a deadpan voice:

"You mean...You mean it's that Karai that you fuck? The same bitch who had stabbed you last night?"

"She stabbed me as a cover! And why do you so surprised! You know it! You saw her text message on my phone!" Leo exclaimed, distressed.

Mikey burst into a madman laugh:

" I didn't look on your phone. It was just a scheme to make you talk. I can't believe it! What a leader you are! What a traitor! " Mikey was now yelling, absolutely mad or upset. " You should pass in front of a Court-martial for that. I mean...Wow, I wonder what Master Splinter would think now of his five-star student. And Raph and Donnie! They would be pissed off, and it is an understatement! Donnie took hours, fussing over you and your wound. How can you call this a cover? Don told us you almost die of it if he wasn't of him! She manipulated you by the cock! When they would learn that the golden boy, the sensitive son, the perfect brother, the formidable sparring partner, is only a pathetic masochist..." Mikey's voice broke there, as emotions flooded him in a bad way. 

Leo was now hyperventilating. All of this was indeed true. They would badly react, even worst than Mikey for sure. He had hoped that his brother would understand. He was in love, and he needed affection and caress. It wasn't exactly his fault if only their enemy could provide it to him.

Then an idea stroke Leo. A very dishonorable one but he was too distraught. He clenched to it. Mikey must not tell. If his youngest brother did it, his life was over. Maybe he could coax Mikey to shut up. His brother was upset about it because he has confessed wanting him. If he gives himself, maybe Mikey would be enough content. It wasn't cheating on Karai. It was to protect their relationship, as she did, in stabbing him. It was the only solution to keep some kind of peace.

“Don’t tell and I would give you what you want,” he said, purposefully. 

Mikey's sad laugh just died.

“What I want? What do you mean? Your offer must be huge, bro because this secret is explosive. Let’s call this the Karaigates!”

Leo looked down, embarrassed. He wasn't seductive at all, and Mikey would sneer at him but it would worth trying. It was his only hope to not see is life in a bigger mess than it already was. 

" You want me underneath you and take me. You told me. I can give you that." Leo whispered, his insides tightening. He was so ashamed of himself, even if he realized that the idea of being with Mikey this way wasn't so repelling. Kind of the opposite. He remembers his brother's kiss. Mikey was a great kisser. 

He straightened up a little in his bed, slightly spreading his knees, hoping to be a least a minimal alluring. Mikey's eyes were staring at a point between his legs and Leo guessed it was his tail. He wagged it, as a bait, and he knows that he had guessed right, when Mikey rushed on him, pressed him back against the cot.

Michelangelo crushed their mouths in a burning kiss. He was kissed him like he was a drowning man and Leo was his lifeline.  Mikey was leaving a trail of hot kisses down his jawbone, nibbling and lapping at his collarbone, stroking him all over the place he could reach.

Then, he slid a hand along Leo's thigh, and Leo struggled to suppress a churr in response when Mikey bite him with force. He had never churred with Karai. Maybe it was because his body recognized Mikey as a better natural mate. He didn't question it. 

 Still, kissing him, his tongue exploring Leo's month, Mikey's hand moved his way up his thigh. He traced up the bulging slit in Leo's plastron with the palm of his hand and Leo bit back a moan, and as he couldn't hold back, he dropped down in the waiting hand of the other male. Leo's cock was hard, needy and dripping et the leader realized that he wanted it. Not only for Mikey shut up about Karai, but for Mikey himself. 

Mikey was jerking him off, still only murmuring some nonsense that Leo didn't catch except maybe the word " beautiful," but perhaps he has misheard it. Mikey was pistoning his fist fast and tight, and all Leo's body quivered, feeling already the climax close.

The smell giving off by Mikey was intoxicating, very strong and musky. He had never smelled it before, but it seemed to him less foreign that Karai's bittersweet aroma and even more enticing.

When Mikey urged his legs apart wider with a sharp knee, then angled himself between them, grabbing one of Leo's thighs and lifting it to his shoulder, Leo felt his brother's cock brushing his entrance. Mikey was hot and hard, and Leo wanted all he could give it to him. He left a whimper, biting his lips, rotating his hips to have more pleasuring friction, calling his brother's name with a wanton that he had never have for Karai, begging him. Mikey pushed forward in the ring of muscle, not enough to enter him, just pressing on it.  And then Leo cum before Mikey has even started because he could hold back anymore. It was so good and right. He barely retains his cry of liberation. It wasN't an orgasm ripped as with her. Mikey had pleasured him to completion only for Leo's own enjoyment. Maybe, indeed, he didn't have to sneak out the lair. Mikey could give him what he was looking for. Mikey would never act harshly at him, never stab him, for sure. He won't act as Leo was a disgrace.

Mikey's voice came as an icy shower as he straightened himself, tucking his cock into his slit so quickly that Leo didn't even saw it, still dizzy from his afterglow.

" Don't want to be the sloppy second of the bitch of a bitch." he spat. "Never believed you were now so shameful to spread your leg to keep licking her ass. Don't worry; I won't tell your infamous secret! But let me tell you something. She doesn't love you. She uses you. She wants something, and she needs a naive virgin but Fearless knight to do it!  That’s it! She doesn't care about you! And I don't get how you still could think so having 4 inches of steel in your plastron. You don't know what I want, Leo, but if you want a cue: this" he explained showing Leo exposed body still stained with cum." I don't want that. And by the way, I maybe spat in the soup earlier. You wouldn't find out for sure before trying" he taunted, leaving the lab, with a slamming door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank to Ikara.
> 
> Sorry, NeatTea picture doesn't happen yet!

The Cold War atmosphere lasted six days. Six days when Mikey ignored him and Leo did the same. He and his youngest brother shared the dojo implicitly. As soon as Mikey came in, Leo came out. Despite Donatello's recommendations, Leo trained, as usual, adding one hour of bodybuilding to his routine. To paraphrase Raph, if Leo wanted to fuck-up himself, Master Splinter not being there, no one could stop him from anything. Six days had passed and each of them passing, Leo’s mood grew darker.

Leo didn't even know why he was training. Karai didn't contact him and to be honest; he wasn't sure if he wanted to see the kunoichi ever again. The leader was confused, and now, his family was falling apart because of it. Mikey already hated him, and he didn't need to add anymore brother to the list.

The thought of Mikey was painful. One moment, by weakness, he has seen his brother with the eyes of a lover. Mikey's bold hands and kisses had felt right to him, as he craved for it since ages. But now, Mikey was farthest to reach than even Karai.

He had lost an opportunity to maybe being truly happy with someone not taking him for a creep. He wasn't sure how Master Splinter would react to this kind of incest, but probably he would react less badly that knowing he was messing around with Karai.

Anyway, for now, Leonardo was messing with nothing except his hand. He had to join Raph's club of solitary pleasure, and he must admit that, even if it wasn't as good that the real thing, it was at least, decidedly less complicated.

His wound was entirely healed, despite his stubbornness to train, but, to his great exasperation, this mating season thing wasn't over. He still tossed in his bed, just a bit more bearable since he had yielded to his need to masturbate. But now, his fantasies could have two ends, and his mind was able to picture as well Michelangelo than Karai as the dominant lover. He tried to bend his mind to focus on the kunoichi. First, because, she was maybe the least disgusted by him from the two of them. And, then, she said so: there was something between them when his brotherly relationship with Mikey was volatile at best.

But to jerk off, he needed some peace of mind and he was overthinking every damn minute. And each day, he was hating himself more than the day before. What a leader he was, not having control on anything.  He didn’t have even the control of his mood, rotating between hope and despair. But shame and doubt were still there.

His two other siblings didn't ask a question even with the patrol break. At least, not to the leader.  Nodoby asks in front of about Michelangelo reserved attitude, either. Leo had noticed the concerned look from his genius brother on him more than once, but Donatello didn't say anything to him.

Anyway, as far as Leo was concerned, he could die. He was a pointless shame to his clan, nothing but trouble. He wondered if he would be mourned if he died.

Raph would be the leader, too busy to cry about his late brother, Don was always too active and Mikey, well, Mikey would maybe be happy without Leo's offensive presence. And if Mikey spoke after his death even Master Splinter would be relieved that the disgrace called Leonardo was gone.

Karai would forget and replace him in the week.

Leo wasn't thinking about Seppuku. Well, not yet. Maybe, when his father would be back, he could ask him to send him on a mission. Two years overseas who do him some good. Perhaps, when he comes back, Mikey would have forgotten about him.

 

He was still in his dark thoughts when his T-phone buzzed. He had a moment of hesitation before looking at it. He knows it was probably Karai. It was the time when she usually texts him.

**"Little boy, I suppose you're enough in shape to visit me. I can't wait until midnight; I have been chaste for one week now. Come over at 11 pm"**

A thrill ran through him, while twisted image came to his mind.  Karai would beat him, tortured him and humiliated him. But he would be useful and anyway, it was what he deserved. And there always some pleasure at the end. Everything seemed so dull to him for a while that pain would be enjoyable.

 **"I will be there,"** he answered, lying on his bed. He didn't even erase the text. He was at a point he didn't care what could happen to him if he was discovered. Mikey knows, and his worst nightmare had already happened. His life was now a mess, beyond reparation.

Karai could cut his throat now if he could get it off on it, he will be okay with it.

And, even, if he didn't want cling to this tiny hope, maybe Karai was missing him for real.

He should find a way to put his brothers to bed earlier, and then, he told himself that he didn't have to. He was maybe a freak, a creep, and an impostor, but he was a great ninja, sneaking even with his brothers still up should be easy to him. Besides, his brothers were leaving him space, recently. They won't look for him, so late in the evening.

They were just faking to care for him anyway. Raph barked to him about training just to piss him off. The hot head did it the firsts days and now, didn't care anymore what Leonardo could do. Leo was only annoying and bossy to him.

Donatello was keeping him alive because that was his duty. Nothing more. He had told him to take easy, but when he had seen that Leonardo wasn't listening to him, he had remained quiet. Donnie's job was done: he had given his medical advice. Leo was only a problematic patient to him.

And Mikey...For Mikey, now Leonardo could go to hell, and this defection hurt him the most because even when they were only turtle’s tots, Mikey was the brother who liked the leader the most. Young, Mikey was always looking at him. Leonardo was his model, his super-hero. Now, for the youngest, Leo's was the bitch of a bitch. It was Mikey's own words. The fall was dizzying.

So, any of his brothers will check on him because Leonardo was only a pain in the ass to them.

It was already past 9:00 PM and Leo felt like he was chocking. Even if Karai wasn't waiting for him already, he sensed the need to flee away from his stifling room. He can do that, each of his brothers must be busy minding their own business. A lonely run would do him some good.

It was a kind of huge shock, when Leo, believing being able to sneak out, opened his door and see Donatello in front of it.

"Donnie?" Leo stammered, stunned. " What are you doing there?"

The mahogany eyes scrutinized him with concern and sadness.

" I can go see my brother in his room, Leo. There supposed not been so unexpected."

Leo frowned. Donnie was a genius and must know that he wanted to sneak out. He must have given him away, one way or another.

" Leo, I wanted to talk to you. We can do it in my laboratory or in your room. Your call, Leo."

The leader narrowed his eyes. It was all Donatello: giving him a choice, to make him believe that he had consented to this. He won't fall into such a miserable trap. Leonardo folded his arms:

“Go ahead. What do you want to discuss with me?” he asked, in his leader's voice.

Donatello hesitated barely before explained in a hurry:

" While you were mopping in your room, we talked about you. We're worried, Leo, about your mental health."

The leader was quick to snap at this:

" I'm fine. I'm the one with a healthy lifestyle. I train, I meditate, I read and have the better diet.  So, don't dare tell me what to do!"

The scientist shook his head.

" You may be right, and from an outside point of view everything seems to be fine but, we know better..."

Apprehension grip Leo's heart. Mikey didn't keep his promises, and he must have been confessed the horrible truth.

" Whatever your opinion is. I'm fine. Now, lets me pass." Leo urged.

"I want to know if you agree considering pills. " Donnie dead-panned." because whatever you said, it pretty obvious to us that you are depressed."

Depressed? Who won't be with their living conditions? Anyway, Donnie must be right, but Leo wasn't any worst than any of them. Reclusion, living only with brother with so different temper was hard.

"I won't take drugs. Maybe I just need less tea and more meditation. That's it."

Tears were now shinning in the engineer' eyes.

" We're suffering from your behavior. You stay away from us...as you don't love or thrust us, anymore."

Leo’s chest tightened but he reminds himself that he was Donnie’s duty to assure him of their brotherly love. Donnie feels forced to be caring. He didn’t need this kind of love. He wanted to be cherished by a free being. Karai may not love him as he wished, but still, she has the choice to doing so.

“Stop being ridiculous, Donatello. We’re still brothers.”

“So, why don’t you talk to us? Did you know the number of meals you have missed this week? Because we have counted them!” Donnie yelled, upset. “You missed 10 meals from 18! And the 8 you took were alone in the dark, in your creepy bedroom!”

"My room isn’t creepy!” Leo protested. " It's clean!"

Donatello sighed, his shaking hand rubbing his forehead.

" When you remove the " immatures things" as you said, your only cheerful decorations, some month ago, you didn't replace any of it. Your room is now as blank as your look." the genius stated.

Leo grew mad. There was nothing in the world that he hated more than be questioned and cornered.

" What my bedroom looks like is any of your concern, Don. You didn't sleep in your, and I don’t blame you for it."

" Its the damn point!" Donnie's cursing was a good indicator of how far the scientist was now riled up, too. " You didn't care anymore about us. Raph could drink and Mikey binge eating, you just don't see us anymore. You were so an attentive brother, and now, you're only coldness in the last weeks. It has nothing to do with the season and you, being too frustrated by it. Mikey did the laundry. We looked for blood, but find any and... you’re the leader but…" Donnie struggled.

The idea that his brothers were now searching his sheets was too much to bear as Donnie's insinuation that he didn't have what it take to be the leader.

« I don't want to be the leader anymore. Nor the eldest and...I think I should move somewhere else, where I would be alone and could think."

Leo regretted his impulsive words, but it was too late. Donnie has paled.

" You're alone all the day, already! What do you want from us? Tell me! We can't stand to see you falling apart like this! Master Splinter went away, hoping you will be more relaxed, but now, you don't restrain yourself for his sake, and you go worst!"

Now, Donnie was crying, and Leo was paralyzed. He had handle far worst situation in his life that a crying little brother, but he was lost. His mind was still spinning, but his body was frozen, even if now Donatello was shaking him.

" Please, Leo, don't do that. Stay with us tonight, just to enjoy a movie with us, eating popcorn. Mikey would be relieved. He is worried a lot about you, and he fears that you want to starve yourself."

Leo, at the beginning of Donnie's speech, was stirred. He could watch a movie, at least, a part of, to calm down Donnie's worries, but the mention of Michelangelo hurt him like a burn. It was all lies! Mikey wasn't worried at all. He had repelled him! Probably that Don was the only one truly worried, but Mikey faked it to appear concerned and don't raise any question. Mikey knows Leo’s real ugly face and probably didn’t want to look at it.

“I don’t want to watch any movies. Anyway, you all better without me. Now move or I would move you!” Leo growled.

Donatello, obedient, take a step aside to let the leader pass.

" Mikey told me you were unhappy with your love life. I can relate., but maybe it's time for you, Leo...to move on."

" Because you, you have moved on? " Leo spat, despite dread running through his body. He knows it: Mikey had reported him.

Donatello looked down:

"Mammals aren't attracted to reptiles. The pheromone chemistry is complicated. Your hormones are only attracted to your species." he answered, in a low voice."I only thought that I loved April because tv has taught us that boys fall in love with girls. There are no girl mutant turtles. So, I assume I had to be attracted to a human because I wasn't going to lust over some common mutant pond turtle; I'm intelligent, not an animal! But, you can trick your mind into believing you like something, but you can't fool your body. Our mind could fancy some human girl, but our body craves for a mate of our kind. And the female human body, despite maybe a short-lived curiosity from them, didn't crave for us. "

Where was Donnie going with that? He could understand what Donnie was saying: Leo's body has reacted very well to Mikey's, but now, he had lost this opportunity.  All his chances with Mikey were over and even with his other brothers; it would be too, very soon, when they learn which kind of dirty traitor Leo was. And there was, not any other mutants ninja turtles.

Donnie seeing his lack de reaction, maybe, spoke softly:

" I think that Mikey may be in love with you. He would be a good mate for you. He is fun, loyal, caring. Mikey would give you all the love you deserve."

Leo's face twisted into such a painful grimace that Donnie concerned came closer to him. He didn't deserve love and anyway, Mikey don't feel this way about him, anymore.

"You should consider it, Leo. I know that seems weird but...It's your only chance for true happiness." Donnie pressed. "And you need some joy in your life, now."

This truth crushes him. Of course, six months ago, he could have considered it. But now, Mikey didn't want to touch him with a barge pole. He would have a slightest higher chance with the kunoichi. She acted as if he was a fashionable chihuahua or a sex slave but disgust from her was less painful. She was at least entertained by him. He was worth little, but at least a little something with her. He was useful and most of the time, the lust blinded him too much to really think about what he was doing and it was refreshing.  No stress, no worry, just obeying, as a mindless sex-robot.

" It won't happen" he replied coldly. "I'm late, excuse me."

With fast strides, Leo walked toward the end, not answering to Don asking "late for what?"

He met Raph on his way,  coming out of the garage and in his periphery he could see the seafoam silhouette of Michelangelo, but he didn't look at him. Raph was wiping his hands, stained with motor oil. He opened his arms, trying to look friendly, a so unusual expression on his face that it was almost unnerving.

"Where you go at this time alone, Fearless?" he asked. " We were about to watch a horror movie with space zombie! Some weird shit from Mikey. Stay with us."

There were not sound coming from the youngest because Mikey didn't want his presence and Leo, so upset about all the mess of his life, snapped:

" I don't need watching a horror movie! My whole life is already horrible, and I see a monster each day!"

He saw it: Raph was shocked, and he hears the squeak coming from Donnie, but Mikey stay silent and still.

Mikey agreed what Leo has just said.

The leader, refusing to cry in front of his sibling, not wanting to be pathetic moreover all his flaws, begin to run toward the exit.

"Leo" Raph shouted, and he ran faster.

He stopped running when he was on her balcony. It wasn't 11: PM yet, and maybe Karai would be pissed off at him, to be too early. She would perhaps punish him, but right now, a whipping sounded melodious. Maybe his soul would stop aching.

Politely, he knocked on the window.

She opened the window, with a smirk.

"Eager much. You come early. So, you will cum late."

Leo didn't react, waiting for a command and kneeling. She wanted to play games. He had expected it.

" But, you did well, because I truly missed my little boy," she said and Leo's heart swollen, despite he tried to not cling to this string of light. His heart had suffered so much that even Karai's possible sarcasm was sweet.

" I have even buy a spare toothbrush for you. You brush your teeth isn't? Your kisses always have a minty taste."

She said that like it was a good thing. She liked his kiss. She was so kind to him, to tell him praises when he deserved spit.

" You don't ask why? You're a good boy, waiting for permissions before speaking but I told you: I keep you for the night and the day after. We'll make love, and then, you will sleep with me, all tomorrow day."

 

She strokes his face with an almost loving smile.

"All four!" she commanded.

Leo didn't question it. With Karai it was now so much simple that it his own family. Not disappointing her was far easier than his father and siblings. And she calls it «making love” not “fuck” or “sex.” She wanted to keep him with her for a day. She must find him special. His brothers would not mind not having Leo’s moody face in front of them. For them, Leo wasn’t special. He was a burden, needing pills, now, apparently.

"The dogs are wagging their tails. I want to see yours. I had never invited a man here, but you, you will sleep in my bed. Show me you are grateful for the favor I give you."

Leo wagged his tail eagerly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture by NeatTea.

 

 

The night had been similar to the last time. She asked for pleasure first, treating him like a slave, but with sweet praise, calling him a "good boy" when he bent to Karai's will. She forbade him to cum, and he managed to hold back. When he was shaking from exhaustion, she asked him to follow her in her bedroom.

Karai's bedroom was tidy, in an Asian style. A futon was laid directly on the tatami flooring.

"Comes," she said, sitting down. "You are exhausted and so am I. I never sleep well, worried about being killed in my sleep, but with you, I would sleep better." Leo's heart warmed to her words. That Karai took him as a shield was enough for his happiness, and it was better than he worth anyway. She recognized him a value of protection that his brothers no longer gave him.

"Who would want to hurt you?" he asked softly, lying down at the foot of the futon, like a Doberman. "Many in my camp are jealous of my lieutenant position with the Shredder," she explained. "Many of them would like to see me dead and take my place like Hun. That's how it works in the Foots."

Leo remained silent, proceeding that Karai was now confided to him her secret thoughts, then he spoke:

" When I was chosen as leader, my brother Raphael was mad. Really. But he would never seriously harm me. My two other brothers didn't care. Donnie is always too busy, and Mikey is..."Leo trained. " Mikey didn't care about leadership. He is more a funny guy that a duty one."

In a genuinely soft voice, Karai asked:

"Is he the one mad of love about you?"

Leonardo looked down, flushed, not wanting that Karai sees the suffering in his eyes and ask about it.

" He isn't anymore...he founds out about us. I mean, me seeing you."

Karai's face twisted into an unusual expression. Slightly desolate, but still cold.

" Did he denounce you?"

Leo shook his head.

" No. He won't," he stated.

Leonardo was now almost sure about it. If Mikey wanted to betray him, he would do it before.

Karai uttered a sigh:

"So, he still loves you. But I feel kind of sorry for you because I can't give you the same love than him."

The leader closed his eyes. He knows that He was too much a freak for that. But it’s still hurt.

“I know, I’m a creep.”

" Why you said that? There a nothing to do with your mutant state, I mean," she continued, " I don't know how to love. I give you what the people supposed to appreciate me gave to me. They treat me as an effective weapon, that’s it. If someone of my clan knows about us, they won't hesitate to report me in hope to upgrade their rank. There a huge difference between you and me. You know love, not me. So, I can’t give it to you.”

But, you have already had boyfriend or lover..." Leo objected. " you loved them."

She shook her head.

" No, not really...I'm more a virgin than you actually." she hesitated, "I...I don't want to talk about that. It’s already past 6:00 AM. Let's sleep."

The leader, shocked by this revelation, didn't ask any questions not to upset her and rested his head on the tatami, his katanas near him. Karai had unveiled pieces of his real personality, and this proof of trust stirred him a lot. He had always known that there was good in her and now he felt validated.

Maybe he wasn’t a creep to her. Despite his excitation about that possibility, this hope, he fell asleep, without real thought about his brothers, for the first time of his life.

Sleeping in the day, with the daily noises and the sunlight, noticeable despite the curtains, was strange for Leonardo, who lived in the dark, or the artificial light, and the dull sound of the city. The day was much noisier, and he only managed to sleep thanks to the exhaustion. But even in sleep, the leader was still on guard, sleeping like a cat, with one eye open. Karai had spoken of danger and knowing that she was relying on him, he didn't want to disappoint her.

He made a weird dream. He knew it from the feeling of uneasiness that persisted after awakening, but couldn't remember it. He was also uncomfortable about being disoriented as much by where he was as by time. He had gone to bed almost at the same time he usually got up. The thought of his routine reminded him that for the first time in his life he had been irresponsible. He had left without telling his brothers where he was going and when he was coming back. Karai was still sleeping softly. Moved, he looked at the beautiful face, so soft in her sleep, remembering the secrets she had told him. It was past 1 pm, and it wasn't safe for him to go outside, in the middle of a beautiful day in June. He got up and looked out the window: scratch that: it was raining. But, for him, it was indeed a lovely day, he told himself, looking at the sleeping kunoichi again. His brothers must be fines anyway without him telling them what to do and not having to fake concern anymore.

By reflex, he looked at his T-Phone: there were many messages, mostly from Donatello and even four from Raphael. Leo didn't read them. He could not leave and could them there where he was.

Anyway, Michelangelo didn't text him, and he was the proof that Mikey didn't care at all about him anymore.

He must have sighed without realizing it because Karai stretched, "What are you doing, it's still early, right?" she mumbled between two yawns. "You can rest, I'll watch over you." She looked at the time, and with a pout, she commented;

" Not really. I would be summoned soon probably. We have barely time for a little foreplay and breakfast. I must go toward 5."

"Oh." Leo has almost forgotten about Karai being part of the Foots.

He saw the hesitation on Karai’s face. She was holding up something. Then, she shrugged

“You’re not the one with duty. A break is good, now and then, but the responsibility comes back. Like you, you will probably return to your brothers soon. Am I right?”

The mention of his brother darkened Leo.

“Of course, I…I don’t have the choice. It’s my home.”

“You say you don’t have the choice, but your house could be somewhere else. You can stay here, with me.” Karai suggested, with a hint of begging.

This proposition seized Leonardo, and his mind was spinning. Did Karai mean that? Then, he shook his head. It doesn’t matter if she means it or not. He can’t abandon his brothers and father. Can he?

She must have precepted his intern struggle, because she smiled, stroking his face.

“You’re not forced to give me an answer today. You can think about it and maybe, you want to bring here some belonging precious to you. Its just…if you want to be my real lover, that I let you take me, I need to trust you. And I can’t trust you, if I saw you barely three times a week, for few hours. I want to learn to know you better.”

Leo was still stunned. Did she want him as a lover? Did she want to know him?

Karai frowned. I can't..." he stammered.

"Why you said you can't? You're 17 years old, and you lead your brother in battle since ages! You're not a helpless child! You can move to your girlfriend's place if you want to...but, it's probably here the issues; you don't want this. You don't really want me! And I trusted you! I told you thing that nobody knows! I opened my heart to you, but it's not enough!"

Did is she serious? Leo didn't have a clue, but Karai seemed genuinely upset so, he decided to believe her.

" It's no that...I mean...I thought I was a Creep for you?” the answer flows from his months before he could hold it back.

Karai opened her melted gold colored orb.

"What are you talking about? I never said such a thing!"

"The song you put...my first night here...It was about a creep and then..." he flushed, looking down.

"You think I put it on purpose," she said, calmly. "I didn't. It was just a random song that I used to like, but if you feel uncomfortable about it, I won't listen to it anymore."

Leo looked up, beaming:

"You won't? You're willing to sacrifice a song you like for me?"

Karai burst into laughter:

"I'm willing to do a lot of more thing. There plenty goods songs, but there only a boy like you,"

At this, Leo felt like mush. Never he had expected hearing something so romantic addressed to him.

Maybe Karai was telling the truth, she truly loved him but, was awkward to express it. He can't blame her. He was awkward too.

He wanted to give it a try, so badly, but he remained conscious enough to see the difficulties. He didn't have money and would never earn it. He didn't know how to cook and can't even going out with her. Except for being a sexual partner, he couldn’t bring her anything. And, despite being lovestruck, he still remembers that she was working for his father enemy.

"But, what about the Shredder? He is your boss!"

Karai rolled his eyes: "Really? Again, with this old vendetta? You and me Leo didn't need to be enemy. I allowed to have my own life...but it will be better if you keep a low profile and stay neutral."

Leo paled. It was there. A part of him knows from the beginning that one-day Karai would bring up the subject. He was even able to see Karai sneaky approach to coax him better: she didn't suggest the betrayal at first. No, she proposed his neutrality.

She must feel that he wasn't convinced at all because she keeps insisting.

" I want a free lover. I don't ask you to become a Foot soldier! You worth more than that! I just want you to be...over this feud. Me, I can't leave this. The Shredder would make me pay my desertion. But your Sensei and your brothers won't do a thing against you! Not if you stay uninvolved. If you want to be with me, is the sacrifice you must do, because, you know enough the Shredder and you're clever enough that is better if you're the one who breaks free from your allegiance."

"I need to think." What she asked him was a lot heavier of consequence that a song

She didn't express surprise to his answer.

" I keep myself for someone special, Leo, as you did. Do you are this special person? Your shot. But, I know it's a hard decision. Turning your back at all you know to go into foreign territory. For that...you must be fearless." she took a pose, and she looked at him straight in the eyes: « I must go back to Japan, before the end of the summer. I was looking forward to going to chrysanthemum festival with you. I have a very secure villa near Kyoto. You should be able to take a nap under the sunbeam.”

Leo’s heart was pounding. To visit Japan was his ultimate fantasy and there he won’t be caught between his allegiance to his clan and his love for Karai.

But, he can't do that. Well, he didn't know if he should.

They take the breakfast almost in silence. Karai wasn't a cook either, but he couldn't blame her for that. He drowns the thought of Michelangelo's extravagant breakfast while eating his sole banana.

" Do you want to spar with me in the basement now? Then we can have some sex and after, I should go. I trust you enough to let you here until sunset, alone. You can go to your home after our stay here and wait for my return."

He nodded, not wanting to compromise himself with an answer. It was kind of too nice to be true.

Sparing with the kunoichi was heading. She was a new and so challenging opponent, but he succeeded to have the upper hand.

But the sparring match had been longer than expected and Karai's bracelet flashed.

" Damn. No foreplay, for now, I must go. But, as I said earlier, you can wait for me, here. I'm not sure when I would come back. This mission is pretty hazardous."

Leo hesitated barely before asking:

" What you mean?"

Karai shrugged, undressing to take a quick shower.

" Of course, until I'm sure I could trust you, I won't tell about my mission. I can only say it's not an easy one, moreover when I'm alone to do it."

Leo felt the implied and stay silent, despite his worry. Karai wanted his help, maybe, but it wasn't impartial, then. She motioned to him to join her in the shower, and he obeyed.

They kissed all long, and Leo was even more confused before Karai's departure. She gave him a key-bracelet for her apartment, and Leo was stirred of this new bond between them.

" You can stay and I would make-up for the lack of sex of today. Maybe...maybe I will let you in. Or you can go and think about that. But, if I didn't have an answer in 5 days, we will be enemy." she said. "Don't be unfaithful until then..." and her face expressed raw displeasure.

He lay in bed after his departure, inhaling her sweet perfume. He had to admit the truth. Karai loved him, despite her particular way. She seemed even jealous, as insane it was. He didn't know what path he would take, but he knew he would have eternal regrets if he refused without trying. But, he had to go home. It wasn't honorable to leave his family without a word of good-bye or explanation. And then, he wasn't even entirely sure of his decision yet. He waited until 9:00 PM before leaving, closing the door from the inside. This bracelet was useless: if he comes back, he will enter through the window, but he regarded the present as an alliance between them and looked at it with emotion. It was the key to Karai's heart.

 

He has had a short nervous breakdown, so torn in his feelings and he cried a little bit on his way home. He still loved his brother and his father and his friends. Could he abandon all of this for a barely know woman? He loved the kunoichi but wasn't sure to his choice. If he made the wrong choice, all could blow out. Karai has promised to make his family paid if he doesn't choose her and he knows that she would. He doesn't want to drag his family into a new feud, so he must stay with her. But this blackmail was the opposite a what a real loving girlfriend would do and that disturbs him deeply. 

But Karai has warned him: she can't give him more love than this. 

He entered through the first manhole he saw, with caution because wasn't dark yet. But indecision consumed him, and he couldn't stand inaction and waiting no more. He had to think, and in his room, without the spellbinding memory of Karai, he would have more distinct ideas. He had not gone ten steps in the sewer that a shadow shoved him against the wall and pinned him there with a burning kiss.

His brain kicked in a moment later, enough to recognize the blue gaze under the orange bandana. He tried to put his hand between them, as a shield, to repel Mikey who was almost choked him. Mikey had clasped one hand with his own, and the other one held his throat so that Leo couldn't turn his lips away.

Mikey's hot mouth was so good, and he felt so warm too with this firm and muscular body pressed against his. The strength of Mikey suddenly remembers him that he wasn't Karai and it was indeed an unfaithful act to kiss another person than the kunoichi. Karai was aware of Mikey's attraction toward him and she could make pay his brother for it. Mikey needed even more protection than the other.

He managed to get away:

"Stop Mikey!"

He presumed that his brother, despite everything, must have been worried about his disappearance and showed him his relief in this unorthodox way. But, he was quickly disabused:

"Why? You didn't stop her when she whipped and spanked you." he growled and Leo opened his eyes wide: "I saw you, yes, I followed you when you went to that bitch." Mikey snapped.

"Watch your words! "

"No, you can't ask me that! She takes you away from me and doesn't even treat you well!"

Embarrassed, at the memory of the show that his brother had probably attended, he mumbled:" You can't understand!

Mikey burst out laughing without joy:

" Nah, I get it more than you imagine. You're so easy to read, bro. The leader always in control must have a release and drop his Fearless Leader mask sometimes. You need a master a few nights a week because you're tired of bossing us around and having all the responsibility and worries. I understand that" Mikey whispered seductively." I can be this release for you and be your dom in the bedroom. You don't need her for that. I'm all here. Do you feel me?" Mikey sniffed his neck, nipping it and squeezed hard his buttocks, rubbing their plastron together and Leo felt dizzy.

"Because that is what about: this dom/sub must stay foreplay, not a daily thing. " he continued, in a painful voice. " I saw all of it, all night long before waiting for you here. She pushed it very far because for her you worth this kind of abuse and indignity. I won't do that: it's supposed to be only some sexual game, not a damn lifestyle! She didn't give you aftercare because even for her mind game she can't fake that much to care about you!" he yelled, indignant.

Leo shoved Mikey hard, now angered.

" Shut up, Mikey! You know nothing! You don't know her, and you don't know what real love is! Between her and I, isn't just a silly crush."

Michelangelo paled and took some step back.

" Yeah, you must be right. I'm just a silly little brother."

And he turned his back, to walk back home.

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Leo followed in silence, almost regretting being back. What would he do anyway? Kissing goodbye his brothers? Master Splinter wasn't even there! But Michelangelo's attitude had troubled him. If his brother persevered in his crush toward him, he had no choice but to go away. For Mikey's sake.

He sighed: even if it was painful, he had to say goodbye to everything he had known. He had to see this as a progression in his life: he was moving forward. An inner voice told him that he was thus abandoning his brothers, but he silenced it; he had lived 17 years for his brothers for the little time he had to live, he wanted to live for himself.

From his first step in the lair, he received a hook.

" Son of a bitch!"Raph screamed as Donatello tried to hold him back. Raphael's eyes were full of tears, and Leo realized that this reception was the result of long hours of anguish from the hot head.

He rubbed his aching jaw, without protesting. He deserved Raphael's rancor. Donatello's upset face burned him with remorse like a hot iron.

"Leo! Where were you? Donnie exclaimed painfully. "We were all worried! "

Suddenly, Leonardo was no longer so sure of his decision at the sight of the distress of his brothers. There was nothing in the world that he cared more than his brothers. Yes, he loved Karai, but his brothers ... it was different. They lived merged for so long. He can't do that to them.

But, then, Master Splinter appeared, a stern expression on his face.

"Indeed, it is a good question. Leonardo where had you been?"

Leonardo stunned stammered about what his father was doing here.

" Your brother Donatello call me because you left, very upset and then, Michelangelo followed you, equally unsettled. You're the leader, my son. You can't let feeling get to you. So tell me: where had you been?"

Leo's mind was spinning. Of course, he can't tell the truth, but which lie could be convincible? If his father knows, Leo could not leave anymore. His Sensei would lock-up him. Therefore, if he wanted to left really, he must prepare them, at least with a half-truth.

" I'm at the moment in my life that I think my brothers didn't need me anymore.  I can maybe be more useful somewhere else. I was looking for answers, maybe find a new place and a new purpose in my life"

The rat remains stoic:

" You talk about feeling and hypothesis, but it wasn't my question. You pass all the day somewhere. You can't go on the surface in the daytime without the help of someone. It wasn't Miss O'Neil's because I was there. So, who has helped you, my son? I need to know who thanks for taking care of my eldest son."

" I was alone, hidden, to think. I received not help." The lie was on his tongue before he could think about it, but his answer seemed to displease his Sensei.

"Follow me in the Dojo. Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, you too."

Leo's insides churned in a bad way. His father brings them in the Dojo, each time he punished them. Most of the time, Raph was the punished one and sometimes, Mikey. But Leo and Donnie were rarely beaten. He didn't even remember the last time

Splinter, as expected, took the Kendo stick and walked toward him.

" Kneel and told me about with who you were today?"

Leonardo fells on his knee, looking down. He knows that his father was only worried and didn't take pleasure doing this. Master Splinter has been raised this hard way and doesn't see anything wrong doing that. But the leader hated when his little brothers were at the receiving end of the Kendo stick.  For himself, he wasn't that bothered. His leather was kind of used with abuses since Karai and his own ninja experience.

Splinter repeated his question, and Leo repeated, in a blank voice:

" I was alone."

The strike came hard, and Leo was using all his willpower not to flinch.

" With who?" the rats asked again.

" I was alone." the leader reiterated, with boldness.

Splinter struck him again.

The same question followed by the same answer came 30 times again, and Leo wasn't feeling anything more than the throbbing pain.  He was getting numb, only bothered by the squeak and the sniff form his brothers, forced to witness the punishment.

"Leonardo, you lied to me, and I'm greatly offended. If you continue this dishonorable way, I must push the punishment further."

The leader swallowed. He knows what that means: Splinter will ask him to cut a finger and then, he couldn't control his ninjatos anymore with easiness. It was the boogeyman of their young. Splinter had explained many times that it would be their fate if they don't behave. 

But, he didn't have the time to think that Mikey blurted the truth;

" He was with Karai. She coaxed him with false promises, but he won't do it anymore. Please, stop hurting him!"

Master Splinter was bewildered

"It’s true my son? Were you with the adoptive daughter and first lieutenant of my enemy?"

Leonardo grunted a "traitor” between his teeth. He had bear all this suffering for nothing, now!

 “How can you call your bother a traitor when you have sleeping with the enemy! Don't answer. You've been foolish to believe love promises from a kunoichi. And you made of all your brothers your accomplice.”

Leonardo looked up and replied fiercely;

" No, I don't. They knew nothing and have nothing to do with it. They are innocent."

The kendo sticks smacked him harder this time, and Leo realized that, until then, Master Splinter was holding back.

" You won't talk back to me! How do you explain that your youngest bother knows about it?" Then, he sighs: " Leonardo I must confess that I am shocked by the new that you, my eldest son, my best student had turned so bad. I must revoke your leader title. You're not worth any more to lead your brother when you can control your carnal appetite".

It was expected, and Master Splinter had only spoken the truth. He didn't deserve the leader title anymore, but that still hurt. Despite all of this, he had silliest hoped that his father would understand him and forgive him.  He yielded.

" I resign," he whispered painfully.

This seems to take his Sensei by surprise. Maybe he had believed that Leonardo was more attached to his position that he was.

" So, Raphael will be." he declared in a firm voice, maybe trying to make Leonardo react. The ex-leader only shrugged. It was the logical choice, Raphael being the second eldest and the strongest.

Leo felt the anger coming from his Master in front of his lack of resistance.

" Then, you have to hand over your katanas to your brother."

At that, Leo startled. Giving his katanas? They were a part of himself, a limb! He can't do that. Bu then, he told himself that his katanas were only steel when his brothers were flesh and blood. Abandoning the weapon was easier.

But Raphael refused:

“I don’t want his oversized steak knife.”

Leonardo was stunned by the firm denial of his brother. Raphael, a long time ago, was dying with envy to have them.

Displeased, their Master turned toward Donatello, but before he spoke, Donnie refused them to:

“I’m too busy to be the leader. There no reason anyway to made change. Leo is only depressed, recently. I can try to help him to overcome this state”

Sadness and remorse overwhelmed Leo. Despite his disloyalty, his brother didn’t want to hurt him, by taking his title and blades. But anyway, all of this was pointless. Splinter was the Master and if didn’t want Leonardo anymore on the team, there nothing to say or do.

“I am going to leave. In one hour, I won’t taint this lair anymore.” he declared, after a quick bow.

Not wanting to see the incredulous glances of his father and brother, he made a beeline toward his bedroom despite limping because of the physical abuse. He wanted to bring with him, in this new life, some part of his ancient. But he didn’t want to bother Karai with too much thing. It was her place. Maybe only some pictures.

There not even a knock on the door that Donatello was there.

“Are you insane? How could you abandon us?” the genius so upset, asked. “You can be serious about having a relationship with Karai…”

Again, with this. To his brother, Leo wasn’t worth a girl’s love. And how Donnie could lecture him: he didn't know Leo's struggle. Even if he didn't want to anymore, Leonardo was caught; Splinter aware of his sin, doesn't want him there, anymore, and if he stays despite that, he would bring on them Karai's wrath.  Furious that Donnie meddle in this when he didn't know how difficult all of this was for Leo, he turned to face him:

“ Why did you call Splinter anyway? I was fine!”

“How can you tell that! Raph and I were sick with anxieties! You and Mikey were gone and we didn’t know where…”

“Mikey didn’t have to follow and threw me under the bus after. All of this is his fault!” he snapped.

“Don’t lie, Leo. You were planning to leave anyway. Mikey was only worried! And nobody wanted to see you being mutilated! You don’t think what you saying. You blame yourself for this mess” Donnie replied.

Tears sled on Leonardo’s face. It was true. Just before seeing Master Splinter he wasn’t sure about leaving but now, he had no choice. All his family know how awful he was. Mikey has just been He can't stand seeing the disappointment daily in their eyes, so trustful before all this mayhem. Even a genius like Donnie couldn't find a solution to this.

“Take care of them, Donnie,” Leo replied softly, posing his hand on Don’s shoulder. “I love you guys, but I can’t stay here anymore. There nothing here for me.”

Donatello shook his head, squeaking the hand. His brother seemed to struggle with something and Leo, despite his distress, grew curious.

“Leo…I must tell you something…Last night, I had sex with Raphael.”

Leo opened his eyes widely, shocked, but waiting to know how and why and what that means and have to do with this. How is that could happen? He would never have guessed that it could be having something between his brothers. What a leader and the eldest brother he was, not being aware of what was going on in his own lair. Maybe Mikey knew this. He was so instinctive! And maybe it was to mimic Raph and Donnie that he chose Leo, the left-over. 

“We were upset” Donnie explained. “You left and Raph wanted to follow to “beat you up until you’re sane again." Mikey didn’t want him to do it and told us that he was doing to do it because he loved you in a peculiar way. It was to him to take care of you... We talk about that…and we were so upset, we had looked at each other to had comfort and then, that happened.”

Leo was silent and after a moment made a sad smile, seeing how Donatello was nervous about his reaction to the scientific's confession. 

“If you’re happy with it, and Raph, too, so am I.” he replied softly. Leo felt kind of better to see that, at least, some of his brothers would be content.

Donnie made a relieved sigh and urged:

“Raph bring me joy and pleasure. My life won’t be dull and lonely anymore. His, neither. I found a lover and a soulmate. Maybe he has a bad temper, but he could be loving and caring and I know that he would be there for me in all circumstance. I thrust him with my life.”

Restlessness clutch Leo and he began to search and pace in his bedroom. He was happy for his brothers but the kind of calm relationship won’t happen to him. Raph was more reliable than Karai and far more straightforward and probably more loving. Under his thought guy act, everyone knows that Raph was nothing than a big softie. Karai wasn’t. Why Donnie has to rub it in his face?

“Mikey could be that for you. He loves you deeply. He told us. Your brain wants pink flesh, but your body wants green scales and your heart is only confused. Raph can give me more than April would never. Mikey would bring you happiness and contentment. You can trust him!  He knows the real you. He loves and respects you for it. He would never betray you.” Donnie insisted

All of this was making a number on Leo’s resolves. But it was too late. If he stays, it would not be respected by his Sensei anymore and be grounded until his death. Karai would be his family’s enemy all over and anyway, Mikey won’t love him again. These negatives thoughts were doing a circle in his mind since the last hour. 

“But if you go, I can’t guarantee you how Mikey would take it. He would be certainly devastated. Besides, I can’t be in a relationship with Raph and him, alone. It won’t be fair. Raph would have the same opinion” Donnie continued to explain.

Oh so, that was the concern of Donatello? Not really Leo leaving, but he feared that Raph didn’t want to fuck him anymore. That hurt him. Karai doesn't care about him that's much, but at least, she doesn't fake to do. 

“Mikey already betrays me,” he yelled, so mad about only himself but far too proud to admit it. Why was Donnie picking his wound?

Donnie red-faced in anger:

“How can you say that? He did it only to save you because he loves you so much!”

Leo was so torn, and he felt the pain to the core. But once the first step is taken there’s no going back.  He was caught, too in-depth shit to be saved, without damaging his family. Leonardo had dug his own grave, he now had to lie in it, despite all the regret he could have done so.

“I don’t worth being saved. Take care of him.”

Donatello tried again to prevent him to get out:

“You’re hurt! Let me at least heal your wound! And after we will talk about this self-esteem issues you have! Despite this mess, there a still solutions” he begged

“You can’t heal me. Nobody could” Leo muttered, stubborn, breaking free. Why was Donatello giving him so a hard time? It was already so insanely painful. Anyway, he doesn't deserve Donnie time.

He came out of his room, to bump into Splinter: In a deep and serious voice, the rat warned, "If you go through the door, there is no way back, if you join an enemy you become the enemy."

The words were harsh but Leo felt the hint of pleading under. Anyway, that was a pointless threat: He didn’t care being himself injured and Leo would never hurt his brothers. So, he rather preferred being their so-called enemy and protect them the best he could against Karai’s wrath than stay with them and attracted it. She would leave them alone, now. Leo wasn't that worthy, but he has enough confidence in his skills. Without the Fearless Leader, his brothers won't be a sufficient threat to interest the Foot anymore.

“So, let it be”.

The rat didn’t stop him when he walked away and only Raph’s upset curse accompany him when he left for good his home. Mikey wasn’t there to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter would be the last!


	10. A bittersweet symphony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture by SakycChan

 

 

 

He was still waiting for her. She had asked him to come armed because tonight was the last mission, the most important before they left for Japan. He still thinks about how Karai had manipulated him so that from a neutral position, he became kind of Karai's sidekick. But, he told himself, he wasn't part of the Foot. Even the badge he wore wasn't the Foot. When Karai had handed him over, he had decided to wear it upside-down, the only compromise he was ready to make.

She said he wasn't a sidekick, her Robin, but a shield. Leo supposed that he was only for him, to feel a better gentleman when, in reality, he works for a criminal organization.

Karai was sometimes sweet, sometimes, well, most of the times, bitter and Leo wondered if Raph's med for his bipolar trouble would do her some good. But it's wasn't as if Donnie could give her a prescription.  No, he must stop thinking about them...

It had been ten weeks since he had any news. He could not blame them. Michelangelo was the only one who knew where he was and Mikey had to judge that the ex-leader was a lost cause.

He felt as lost and lonely than when his Master had sent him to South America. But, at least, in the jungle, he could comfort himself with the thought that he would one day come back home and be welcomed. But, now, he knows he could never go back home. Maybe his family has already long ago burnt all his stuff and declared him dead to them.  And even, if he wasn't happy at all, he must stick to his choice. Mastel Splinter warned him: he could never come back.

When he was alone, the day, he couldn't help himself, making a comparison. Leo, at the lair, looked for loneliness and calm. But here, he wanted so much being disturbed: Raph looking to pick a fight, Donnie asking him some help and Mikey...

Mikey, cooking for Leo, asking him daily what he wanted to eat.

Mikey, cheering him up.

Mikey, trying his kata again to made Leo proud.

Mikey, letting him win, playing Mario Kart.

Mikey bugging him nonstop to stake board with him, watching tv with him.

Mikey, making him tea when he was coming out from a rainstorm to have sex with Karai.

The sex he didn't have anymore.

Karai sometimes played twisted foreplay with him, to reward him. But never he had made love to her. She talked about " needing to trust him entirely before giving in, but Leo was now convinced that it was bullshit, after having been waiting for so many weeks.

Michelangelo would have let him. They would make love daily, and it would be real love, not only sex and mind games. Because now he realized it: Mikey was in love with him for a long time and he loved Mikey much more than Karai. They would have been happy, as Raph and Donnie.

But he was now too late. He had chosen Karai, believing in her mirages and he would never know a shared love.

He stirred his sad thoughts every day, and he was looking forward to leaving, hoping that in Japan he would think less of his brothers and his lost happiness. To say that he had felt unhappy with a life devoid of meaning at this time with them. Now he knew the true loneliness, and although he was trying to unplug his emotions, he still felt the dull pain. The only positive thing was that Karai had promised that his brothers and Splinter would be left alone, except if they were looking for trouble. But he had never encountered them. His brothers never look for him, apparently.

It was like the Fearless Leader never existed, except in Leo's own memory.

He wiped his tears and tied again his black bandana. He was no longer the Fearless Leader from before, anyway. He led nothing, careful to not pick a fight with the kunoichi.

Because if Karai throws him out, he doesn't have any other place to go. He had to be grateful: he lived in a safe and comfortable apartment and had to eat. Without Karai, he should live with garbage as the freak he was. Yes, he was now more a creep that ever, repelling by everybody.

"Sorry, I was busy, are you ready?" Leo didn't even jump to her voice. His survival reflexes were almost non-existent. He was only a war machine: war machines don't care to be broken. Anyway, he was already broken.

He didn't even care about her plan; it didn't matter anymore to him what he would do. He was only waiting for her instructions. "This is our mission: we enter the TCRI, and we must seize a machine of mass destruction.  " Leo frowned, "Why?" His question seemed to displease the kunoichi. "This weapon is dangerous in the hands of these people, you know it. The Shredder learn about it and wants to ward off this threat" "It won't be better in the hands of Shredder" Leo protested. "This is our last mission before I have the command of our subsidiary in Japan! Are you scared?" she sneered.

Leo straightened under the insult.

 "I'm not afraid, and want to go, but to destroy it!"

Karai hissed with dissatisfaction:

"Your brother was the genius, not you! How do you think you know how to disarm an alien weapon? Know your place, turtle boy: your a sword, that's it."

Leo's hand tightened on his new katanas' hilt. Karai has given him a pair of new ones. It was indeed good quality stuff. But he still felt the steel as foreign, longing for his real ones. He was wearing more armor too, Karai didn't find him "impressive" enough and had explained to him that for their job it was a necessity. All his new scars validated her opinion. She cared so much about him and wanted him to be safe.

He believed her at first, but now, it knows what it was: empty words. Maybe Karai was right: she gave him all her cold heart could. But that didn't matter because his heart was becoming cold, too: too many disappointments and no more hopes to balance.

He knew better than to contradict her. Alien or not, slicing an object was always a good way to end it, despite what Karai could say.

 Perhaps he would have done better to slice his finger, two months ago: he would have expiated his sin and would still be in the lair. He chastised himself to have again these sterile thoughts. All the opportunity to take another path were over.

Maybe in Japan, he could run away and live as a monk in the mountains, alone.

"Stop daydreaming" Karai snapped. "We have a job to do."

Leonardo nodded absentmindedly.

He followed her, jumping from roof to roof, approaching the building. "Shredder's spies have given us a plan, but we can't be sure if it's okay. But you've already come in, many times. You'll be my guide. we are only to no to raise suspicion."

It was indeed true: with his brothers, he had entered the alien lab at least 5 or six times. He didn't go everywhere, but a big part of the building. It was a labyrinth, with fake doors and Kraag guard everywhere. Karai, without his help, can't do it.

"There is a place on the roof ... Mikey has ... anyway, I know how to enter. Follow me. "he explained and Karai, for once, seemed to be his sidekick and not the other way around.

The ventilation pipes were always a good way to get in somewhere, and Leo, made progress, followed by Karai,  despite being very cramped because of his shell. They arrived at the main room where he supposed must be kept the weapon.

As expected, there were some guards. To eliminate them in silence was easy, while Karai was looking for what could be the weapon. Except for a huge dashboard, there was nothing and Leo, in front of the computer, felt helpless. That's why the team with his brothers had been great; they had diversified talents. But he and Karai were just two swords.

"Maybe they're just on the plan, and they're on the computer,"

he suggested.

Karai thought, "Maybe it's an idea, but luckily I still have a USB stick on me." The kunoichi started typing codes. He had learned that Karai was an excellent hacker. This was one of the reasons for her position: she could fight better than most and had other abilities, unlike Hun, the mindless mastodont. And, she could seduce, too. A triple threat.

"I don't understand this alien language! she cursed.

And suddenly, an idea came to him:

"My brother Donatello is a genius, I bet that, even not there, he can insert a virus into this computer and destroy those plans! He was maybe the sorriest of my departure; he would maybe give us help"

Karai started, bristling; "Stop talking to me about your brothers! I can put a virus on my own, but that's not the plan! Shredder wants his plans for his own use!" That was, it was no longer "to remove a threat" the leader of the Foots wanted to possess the weapon to use it. "I can not help you then, I refuse to collaborate with a criminal." "How dare you," she jeered, "I've given everything for you! Sex, despite my disgust for you, so that you're a less miserable life than your brothers because I found you promising! I need this promotion, and if you love me, you will do it. "

At the L word, Leo darkened:

 "Love has nothing to do with blackmail, and anyway, I don't love you anymore, admitting that one day I was really in love, I will say that I was briefly fascinated."

The kunoichi blanched to this, and she drew her sword, and suddenly everything went to hell. Karai jumped on him and accidentally, he triggered an alarm, while Karai made a nasty cut to his thigh. Forty Kraangs rang with their disintegrator and began shooting at them. Despite his injured leg, he managed to avoid the shots. Karai was surrounded. Despite their disagreement, he turned to her for helping her and then, find himself corned too while now, taking advantage to the distraction, she tried to run away to the computer, probably abandoning him behind. A blazer shot broke the blade of his katanas, and all the weapon were now pointed at him. Never, with his brothers, he would have been in this kind of dangerous situation. First, there were four of them, so there always two at the front and two, behind, to watch their backs. Raph was restless and stubborn, but never the hot head would have risked their life, picking a fight with Leo in the enemy's lair. And never, his brothers would have left him in the enemy's clutches. Donnie was right. The only people he could trust with his life was his brother, now gone.  Leo's messed-up life could end there. He didn't give a damn anymore.

At the moment this thought comes to him, a katana sliced from behind three Kraang's heads at once. And then, Mikey was there, holding Leo's real katanas and Raph too. Donnie must be close too, probably in front of the computer. He didn't question their presence. Having regained freedom of movement, Leo began to hit with his katana's hilt, his only remained weapon. Mikey had his katanas; the real’ ones. Maybe he was the new leader now.

He was surprised when Mikey said;

"Take your damn sword, bro, they are too heavy. Go to D, you're injured." and without a real glance to the black-banded turtle, switched to his nunchuck.

Leo took a look at himself. He was bleeding a lot; only adrenaline had prevented him from fainting maybe.

But going away from the fight wasn't him, and he kept his stance steady, slicing with easiness all enemy around him. Mikey has said that these katanas were too heavy, but Leo felt as he just regained a lost limb. Karai's katanas never felt right to him.

" Go away, Fearless, you lose a damn gallon per minute," Raph grunted, and Mikey shoved him toward Donnie, who was fighting with Karai.

His first instinct was to protect Donnie, to the hell with Karai. Even if his brother doesn't want him anymore, Don was good and Karai, not Evil, but not so far.

He stood in front of Donnie, with his katanas, agile despite the blood he was losing. "Karai, don't do that, Don would disable that weapon, and so no one will get it, and there will be no threats." he tried to reason.

 She stopped, pretended to think, and was on him, again, the blade his tanto under his throat, threatening Donatello: "Give me these plans or I cut off your brother's head. Believe me, I'll do it. "

Leo felt the blade slash his neck.

"Don't do it, Don. She only pretends and anyway, I don't care, if she is not."

"I can't do that, Leo," Donnie repeated, eyes wide, no doubt seeing the blood flowing from his neck, Karai squeezing the blade harder. "I'm the leader, Donnie; it's an order, destroy those plans!"

Donnie didn't have time to answer as the lights turned red and sirens sounded. "Self-destruction in 5 minutes" a voice announced and Leo shouted, "Go away!" to Donnie.

"The plans," Karai asked again, in a hurry.

"The computer is locked, I don't have enough of 5 minutes to go there!" Donnie protested.

The kunoichi hissed in frustration and with a quick gesture, sliced the jade colored throat, and Leo fell to the ground, chocking.

"The plans will no longer be useful to anyone, but this freak, either. I leave it to you, " and in a few pirouettes, she was gone.

Someone was helped him up, and Leo made a gurgling protest. He was choking, and his thigh was burning, and he didn't want to put his brothers in danger. Leo was only going to slow them down.

"Shut up dummy. Don't tell us bullshit about leader prerogative to chose to die on us. You're not the leader anymore. I am, and I say we don't leave you there. Just faint already!" Mikey harshly replied.

And Leo obeyed.

He woke up in the laboratory of his brother Donnie, his bandaged throat, Mikey at his side and never Leo has been so grateful to have a sibling and especially Michelangelo, still there for him.Mikey didn't smile but moved to see his brother watch over him and happy to see him alive, he held out his hand, murmuring his name. Mikey pulled away coldly. "I'm going to tell Donnie you're awake."

"No, stay awhile, I'd like to talk to you," Leo squealed in a voice he didn't recognize. He now realized it: he has been foolish to choose Karai over Mikey. Never his brother would have turned his back on him and he still remembers Mikey's burning lips on his. Donnie was right. Mikey would have given him real happiness. Mikey had stayed, to check over him, so, maybe there still something in Mikey's heart for him. 

"Well, I don't want to, we saved you because you're our brother, despite being an asshole, let it be clear. Donnie was dying of worry. That's it. It wasn't because I was given a damn about you."

Leo looked down, desolate. He noticed the many scars on his brother's arm. More than fifty fine lines, like made by a razor, some very recent. The concern must be shown on his face because Mikey followed his gaze and hid his arm; "Don't ask, just a calendar."

"Mikey, please, I need to tell you how I have thought about you  ..."

"No matter what you say, Leo, I don't want to hear it. Each of his scars is a day you were missing. They will stay on my skin, eternal marks, in case I can forget how a bastard you could turn to be. " he spat.

Leo closed his eyes briefly, to prevent tears:" So, it's too late for you and me ... " he whispered softly. Even if it was well-deserved he had so hoped for something else.

Mikey walked away. "You have many opportunities to choose me. I don't want to be a consolation prize. My silly crush on you is dead, as Master Splinter."

Leo paled "Master Splinter is.."

"Yes. He couldn't stand having lost his favorite, you know.  He died the next day you left. You blew away all the lair, Leo. It's kind of commonplace: You bet on the black, playing roulette and you lost the draw!" he said pointing of the black bandana. "Now, it's penance time for you.  I don't love you anymore," he said darkly.

Mikey left him alone, in the dark lab with the same words Leo had said to Karai, leaving him with regret that Karai hadn't cut deeper with the tanto. The death of Mikey's love was far more painful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alessandra asked me for a "bittersweet" ending, I think that's one of them. But it's not the true end. Go see "Kryptonite" to read again from the beginning this story, but from Mikey's point of view.


End file.
